Site News: December 2014

Whew. Another month come and gone.

My sister finally updated her own blog in that time, and her latest article is pretty interesting.

You may have noticed that I took down the poll. This is because you guys seemed to mostly be unanimously for adding shows like Gravity Falls, Sym-Bionic Titan, Generator Rex, and others onto my to-do list. So I'll keep that in mind for the coming year.

I'll tell you what, it seems like every time I think I might take a break from this blog, I end up posting more and more. I was very tempted to take this next week off... but I think I'll be posting after all. I mean, I've gained a metric buttload of new readers, and the least I can do is to actually post for them.

Having said that, I'm planning a little something special for this holiday season. So the schedule at the top left should probably be taken with a grain of salt. I try to be as diligent as possible with posting on time, but I'm doing something a bit different for you guys and I might need to shift the schedule a bit. As a great man once said, I'm working on something big.

And it'll be a Hannukah Special. No, I'm not Jewish. I'll be recapping a Christmas episode for Christmas, and I bet Jewish people are sick of not having their own special episodes of various shows.

Anyhow, October was all about Batman, November was a month for catching up, and this month will be back to basics. We'll have a little Marvel, a little DC, a little bit country, a little bit rock n' roll. ...ask your parents, kids.

See you tomorrow, when I'll be recapping and reviewing another episode of The Batman.

Review: Avengers: EMH "Breakout, Parts 1 & 2"

It feels so darn good to be talking about this show again. It's like an early Christmas present. Let's get crackin'!

Recap: Avengers: EMH "Breakout, Part 2"

Last time, it looked like things couldn't get any worse. Let's see if they do when you add a madman with gravity powers.

The smart money's on beardy.

Recap: Avengers: EMH "Breakout, Part 1"

Today, here in the United States, we're be celebrating Thanksgiving. We'll all gather round the table with food, family, and appreciate all that we have. So today, I'm going to treat you all with something I was definitely thankful for while it lasted.

It's finally time to start looking at Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. You're welcome.

Review: Avengers Assemble "Avengers: Impossible"

To say that this was an unpleasant episode is a bit of an understatement. The combination of Falcon and Impossible Man together is about as appealing as... Does anyone remember that Reese's commercial where the two guys with the peanut butter and chocolate run into each other? Re-enact that with earwax and manure, and that'd be right on the money.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "Avengers: Impossible"

I've seen horrors. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and mortal terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.

The horror... The horror....

This is the day I have dreaded for what feels like an eternity. If you are reading this Recap, then I have somehow survived the process of writing it. I don't know how. Let's just get this over with.

Is this my punishment for saying that the monster attacking the Great Wall of China at the end of the premiere was the one at the beginning of "Depth Charge"? I'm sorry! I didn't know! Forgive me!

Review: Green Lantern: TAS "Heir Apparent"

Is this episode a good one? Is this episode a bad one? Well, I'd say the answer's pretty apparent!

Hey, the management reserves the right to make dumb jokes.

Recap: Green Lantern: TAS "Heir Apparent"

“Heir Apparent”? More like, “Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow,” am I right?

…

Okay, tough crowd. How about this one?

Why can Green Lanterns always recognize each other?

Because they’ve all got a familiar ring to them!

…these are the jokes, people.

What do you think I am, a comedy blogger or something? Oh, wait….

Review: Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. "Planet Hulk Parts 1 & 2"

You know, sometimes I look back at all the things I've watched for this blog and I think, "Those were good times."

And sometimes I put myself through this crap.

Recap: Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. "Planet Hulk, Part 2"

When last we left our heroes, Hulk took up modern dance, Red Hulk grew his mustache back, Skaar ate his own head, and A-Bomb was pregnant with She-Hulk's baby.

And if you believed all that, then you should really re-read my Recap of the first part. I don't think you were paying attention.

You may have been reading a teenage girl's fanfic.

Recap: Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. "Planet Hulk, Part 1"

They did it. They renewed Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. for a second season. Why? It's got the lowest score on IMDb out of Marvel's three current shows, it doesn't have a devoted fanbase, it's not a cult hit, and nearly every review of every episode utterly trashes the show.

Allow me to demonstrate.

"They took interesting characterizations and clear story lines and tossed them out the window for fun in the sun cheese." - GTDMAC, IMDb

"Words cant describe how awful this show is. Its almost as if the writers were challenged to cram the most non-Hulkish ideas into a show for a bet... And they succeeded. I don't know if they should be congratulated or executed for crimes against television"- finkelman, IMDb

"Disney/Marvel may be knocking it out of the park when it comes to live-action theatrical releases, but they continue to struggle to create an animation show that is worth a damn." - teegeeyoung, IMDb

"More proof that Disney is destroying the Marvel brand." - Jbad5, IMDb

"Sadly, Agents of S.M.A.S.H. didn't manage to reproduce much of that book's appeal in this one-hour premiere." - Jesse Schedeen, IGN

"Give it a try, and watch an episode or two. You will like it." - ahlan336, IMDb

I did say "nearly."

And you know what? I'd have to say that Season 1 wasn't awful overall. Episodes like "All About the Ego" and "The Skaar Whisperer" certainly did it no favors, but it did get noticeably better toward the end, even resulting in one of my favorite versions of the Abomination. I'd go into more detail about Season 1, but I've got an entire post for that once I recap and review the Christmas special.

Honestly, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I think my Reviews are one of the few fair assessments this show gets. Though I'll admit, I tend to get a bit hung up on the parts that bug me. There's a lot of people going around bashing this show (guilty), and a lot of people going around praising it (also guilty, but less so). But I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. After all, there have been legitimately well-written episodes, and a couple of absolute pains to sit through. Both sides of this argument have fair points. When this show's bad, it's awful. But when it's good, it's spectacular.

Which brings me back to my original point. This show is simply "okay." Marvel has canceled shows that were doing far better than that. Why is this show still here?

The cliffhanger from last season? Nope. Plenty of shows have been canceled on cliffhangers. Did you know that ALF ended up taken away by the government and vivisected? Seriously, look it up.

The fact that they don't want to anger Man of Action, the driving force behind the Marvel Animated Universe? Heck, no. They're not involved with this show at all. This is Paul Dini and Henry Gilroy's baby.

Maybe they had a really good episode written for Season 2? Let's find out.

The answer may surprise you! But I'll bet you it won't.

Legacy Character Study: The Time War

So. The Time War.

At some point, the Eighth Doctor returned to Gallifrey and destroyed it. He wiped out the Time Lords and the Daleks to save all of time and space. Except here’s the thing….

He didn't.

Review: Ultimate Spider-Man "Snow Day"

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if somebody's reading this on an actual Snow Day.

'Sup, Dawg. I heard you like Snow Days, so... and you know the rest.

Recap: Ultimate Spider-Man "Snow Day"

Yeah, I know I promised another Doctor Who Character Study today. But the Polar Vortex was kind enough to show up uninvited again, so I decided to post this while everybody's googling for snow day information, I mean, so I can remain topical. No, you're being shifty.

So let's take a look at an episode of Ultimate Spider-Man named after what every kid wants right about now.

It's called "Snow Day," not "X-Box One." Just FYI.

Review: Avengers Assemble "The Doomstroyer"

"The Doomstroyer" is just fun to say. Try it yourself. Right now. I don't care where you are. Library? Say it loud. Goofing off at school? Say it proud. Everybody just say it at least once.

Yes, even you. Reading this in your bedroom all alone.

Put some pants on.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "The Doomstroyer"

And now, Doctor Doom's Asgardian obsession continues in this sequel to "The Serpent of Doom." Ladies, gentlemen, and others, I'm delighted to bring you the most ridiculous title this show has given us yet: "The Doomstroyer." As for the rest of the episode... well, that's what the Recap and Review are for, right?

Unless you just read my blog for my reviews of episode titles. You weirdo.

Review: Avengers Assemble "Depth Charge"

Before I critique the episode proper, I feel that I should address something. It's really not very PC the way that this show keeps treating terrible disasters like no big deal. Anyone in Tokyo can tell you that tsunamis are not fun little jaunts that are cleaned up in a week. I'm not saying you can't tackle a serious threat like tsunamis in a superhero show, you just need to be dang careful about how you go about portraying it. This is poorly-thought out at best and downright disrespectful at worst. It's one thing when you gloss over any depressing bits with civilian casualties, but quite another when you go out of your way to pretend they don't happen.

On with the Review.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "Depth Charge"

Eric Roberts is hailed by some as a master of the B-movie, but we'll see if that holds up for this TV movie that came out the same year as The Dark Knight, featuring Roberts as....

Oh, wait, wrong "Depth Charge," this one's an Avengers Assemble episode.

My bad.

Review: Avengers Assemble "Molecule Kid"

So, a question that I usually ask myself when I review an episode is this:

"What is this episode about?"

There are three possibilities. Let's examine them.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "Molecule Kid"

Does anyone else think that Beta-Ray Bill and the Molecule Kid sound like characters in a Space Western?

...

Yeah, I'm stalling. I haven't been looking forward to this one. I don't remember if it's good or bad, I just remember that it's absolutely infuriating. Let's go.

Wasn't Molecule Kid a member of the Legion of Super Heroes?

Review: Ultimate Spider-Man "Why I Hate Gym"

This episode was the first step in absolutely the right direction, but it does shuffle back a little bit after taking that step.

Recap: Ultimate Spider-Man "Why I Hate Gym"

I know why I always hated gym. It was the one class that I couldn't draw in. Let's see if Spider-Man has a better reason.

Well, the drawing thing and the fact that the locker room smelled like Axe body spray and hormones.

Review: Ultimate Spider-Man "Flight of the Iron Spider"

First and foremost, before I review, there's something to keep in mind. At the time this episode aired, Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes was still the Avengers show on TV. So, yes, this was Adrian Pasdar's first performance as Iron Man in the Marvel Animated Universe, before he would reprise the role for Avengers Assemble.

So in a way, this episode heralded what would come. But let's talk about this omen and see if good times were foreshadowed.

Recap: Ultimate Spider-Man "Flight of the Iron Spider"

Today, we return to Ultimate Spider-Man. When we last left our heroes, Nick Fury was a two-faced liar and the Sandwich Club was comprised of genre-blind fools who barely tolerate each other. Today, let's see if things can improve with the addition of an Avenger.

Avengers Assemble! Well, just the one.

November 2014 Update

Whew.

Thirteen solid days of Batman, a week of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and an episode of Ultimate Spider-Man that defies all logic. Check those off the To-Do list!

And now that I'm looking at my To-Do list for the first time in a while... Well, looks like another busy month. But in a different way.

I hereby dub November of 2014 "Catch-up Month."

For the next month, I'll be attempting to catch up a bit in my ongoing coverage of Marvel's current shows, as well as a couple shows I haven't covered in a while.

Behind the scenes, I'll also be working up on tidying up typos, dead links, and figuring out why my review of Ant-Man's final Avengers: EMH micro-episode is in that weird font.

On a less personal note, the writers of Eclipse have been trying to Kickstart another comic endeavor, Child Number Four, if you'd like to donate some money towards that. (Sorry it took me so long to get the word out, guys!) It looks good to me so far. The art looks wonderful, and the premise has a lot of potential.

On a more personal note, a guy named Jeremiah Swanson was kind enough to email me a copy of this book he's written, And Death Will Seize the Doctor, Too. Unfortunately, I haven't yet found the time to finish read it for myself, but I thought I'd give him a shout-out. Once I finish it, I'll let y'all know if I enjoyed it. It's about a guy who has to kill in order to heal, which sounds interesting. I'm looking forward to it and hopefully, now that I'm not posting every day, I can finally read it. (And if you're reading this, Mr. Swanson, I'm very sorry I haven't gotten around to it yet.)

Anyway, I'll see you here tomorrow when I recap and review an episode of Ultimate Spider-Man that doesn't have anything to do with Disney sitcoms.

See you then!