Monday, November 24, 2014

Review: Avengers Assemble "Avengers: Impossible"

To say that this was an unpleasant episode is a bit of an understatement. The combination of Falcon and Impossible Man together is about as appealing as... Does anyone remember that Reese's commercial where the two guys with the peanut butter and chocolate run into each other? Re-enact that with earwax and manure, and that'd be right on the money.

It's not exactly what I'd call original. Impy's powers are changed to be more like Mr. Mxyzptlk, and his goals are more like Bat-Mite. And I'm sure Stan Lee would agree with me.

Thanks, Generalissimo.
To be fair, there's really not much writers can do with the Impossible Man that hasn't been done before. I'd bet not even Avengers: EMH could have given us a good Impossible Man episode.

Or maybe it would have been the best thing ever. Dang it.

Falcon is allegedly supposed to be the viewpoint character of the show, and this episode shows hints of that idea. You know, what with him being the viewpoint character of this episode and all. Despite my earlier comparison of the character to either earwax or manure (take your pick), I will admit that Falcon has been somewhat humanized in this episode. He starts off wanting recognition for his efforts in the Avengers. To be sure, he doesn't show any anger, resentment, exasperation, or any other human emotion while expressing this desire for recognition, and it's resolved offscreen so he can teach the lesson to Impossible Man, but it's there.

Impossible Man
Impossible Man is an affront to man and God. Moving on.

Black Widow 
In the span of about 25 minutes, she gets nine lines which, lets face it, anyone could be saying.

"Falcon, in front of me!"
"The invasion is a misdirect. He released the Crew. He's the threat."
"Finding him now will be impossible."
"Maybe less. What are you really doing here?"
"I'm not playing. What are you doing?"
"It looks like Hawkeye is going to be Wendigo lunch."
"Nice shot. My turn."
"Perfect training, Falcon."
"That's why it's called a team."

Basically, every 2.8 minutes, Black Widow is allowed to say a single line that could have gone to any of the characters. Because as I've gone over before, Man of Action struggles with female characters. This is why Black Widow gets relegated to... well....

I get the feeling that Man of Action saw this online and didn't realize it was parody.
Having said all that, I will give credit where credit is due. Though I'm loathe to admit it, this episode had one of the cleverest bits I've ever seen regarding Thor and his enchanted hammer. He gently tosses his hammer towards Attuma who instinctively catches it. Then he falls all the way through Avengers Tower because the enchantments make him unworthy to actually lift the darn thing. That's actually pretty clever, and it makes me suspicious that it came from the comics first.

All in all, the most interesting part of this episode was spotting a blurry advertisement for Cirque du Soleil's "O" in the background of New York. Other than that, this thing has no redeeming qualities and I recommend skipping this episode. Completely. Even it you're morbidly curious. Don't do it.

Next time... well, anything's better than what I just went through.

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