Friday, November 14, 2014

Recap: Avengers Assemble "The Doomstroyer"

And now, Doctor Doom's Asgardian obsession continues in this sequel to "The Serpent of Doom." Ladies, gentlemen, and others, I'm delighted to bring you the most ridiculous title this show has given us yet: "The Doomstroyer." As for the rest of the episode... well, that's what the Recap and Review are for, right?

Unless you just read my blog for my reviews of episode titles. You weirdo.
The episode begins with the team in their jet en route to Latveria, the land that Dr. Doom rules over. Apparently, there are Asgardian energy signatures over there. Coupled with the fact that Doom was last seen getting tossed into Hell by an Asgardian portal, it's easy to put two and two together. But this episode is taking a page out of the Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. playbook because the Avenjet gets hit by some sort of something and starts crashing. Thor flies out and tries to help the jet crash softly while Cap and Tony scan Doom's castle. It turns out that there's some sort of skirmish, quite possibly even a kerfuffle, and it involves both HYDRA goons and AIM troopers.

Hulk joins in to start a-smashin', and the nameless mooks begin to flee. Not from the Hulk, from something worse. An energy beam shoots out of Doom's castle and blows stuff up while the Avenjet "lands." From out of the castle emerges the source of the blast: the Destroyer armor.

You remember, right? This thing from the Thor film?
It manages to knock down the Hulk. And as if that wasn't bad enough, it begins to speak in a familiar voice.

Dr. Doom: "You have tread upon the sovereign ground of Latveria."

"Your backsides shall summarily be dispensed to each of you in turn."
The armored... uh, armor shoots at the fleeing HYDRA/AIM mooks while Iron Man asks Thor what the plan of action should be, having apparently learned his lesson from "The Serpent of Doom." You know what? Point to the writers for having some character development stick from episode to episode.

Unfortunately, Thor's plan of action is to summon the Bifrost and flee to Asgard. Hulk got smashed and Thor ran off. Within a minute.

Like a moving staircase.
Captain America surmises that Thor went off to get some help while Doom starts a-firin' his lazor at the fleeing HYDRA goons.

Iron Man: "One problem at a time. And 'Doomstroyer' here just put himself at the head of the line." 
Hawkeye: "Doomstroyer. Really. We're... w-we're calling it that? Okay, works for me."

They begin their usual tactic of "attack the problem," but it has little effect.

Falcon: "The usual isn't working!"

Hulk even comes back only to get punched back again, and Doom brags about all the self-improvements he's made while journeying through time and space. Like, you know, being a laser-faced metal guy.

Cap rightly asks about whether or not the previous owner is going to wonder where his armor is, but Doom rightly counters that it doesn't really matter, what with being all-powerful now. Hulk comes back with a big ol' thing to throw at the Doomstroyer, but it just gets deflected into the nearby town. Widow picks up on this, noting that Doom may be putting the "ass" in "ambassador" in a few episodes' time, but he's never done the same with the word "dictator." Letting his own people get hurt is completely out of character for him.

Iron Man hacks the Latverian Emergency Broadcast Network to alert the locals and changes the mission objective to "Protect the civilians." They decide to accomplish this with a retreat into Doom's own castle. Tony hacks Doom's defenses to use against the Doomstroyer, managing to slow it down a bit.  Thor picks this time to ride the lightning back into Doom's castle. And he's brought a plan with him, even.

Loki: "Greetings, Avengers. Good to see you again."

The plot thickens like gravy.
Doom takes this moment to break into the control room, giving Loki an opportunity to defend the Avengers with a forcefield. After forcing the Doomstroyer back, he exposits that the instructions to use the Destroyer were lost long ago, meaning that Dr. Doom must have rediscovered them somehow.

He also explains that Dr. Doom isn't actually in the armor, he's remotely controlling it with his mind. Also, this will slowly drive him insane enough to attack anything and everything on sight. Fortunately, Loki can track down Doom's real location.

Thor apologizes for not dying during the events of "The Serpent of Doom," which inadvertently led to this situation. He goes with Cap, Falcon, and Loki through a portal to find the real Doom, while the others start defending against the armor.

Hulk: "Do I look like a defender to you?"

Yes. Yes you do.
They end up in Muspelheim, a land of fire and brimstone.

Thor: "Helheim."


No. Helheim is the cold, barren land of the dead. Muspelheim is the... Fine, whatever. I spent enough time arguing Nordic mythology the last time Dr. Doom showed up.

Thor: "We are deep below Asgard; the domain of the trolls."

No, the trolls are from Nornheim. Muspelheim has Fire Giants, Helheim has dead people.

Just... whatever.

The aforementioned trolls appear and prepare to fight these intruders. Loki, meanwhile, has disappeared. Back with the others, fighting ensues while Iron Man gets some internal defenses up and running.

Iron Man: "Oh, and I also canceled his digital movie queue."

Tony, you've signed your death warrant for denying Doctor Doom that copy of Mean Girls.
Back in Nornheim Muspelheim Helheim, the Avengers defeat the trolls and discuss Loki's betrayal. But Loki returns, revealing that he had not only prevented a sentry from gathering more trolls, he discovered some kind of big ol' suspicious door. Thor blasts through, and it turns out that Doom took over the troll throne room. He's also sitting on a magic throne that powers the armor, and has a magic purple crown that does.... something.

"It makes me look fabulous."
Unfortunately, Doom's got a new pet, too. The Midgard Serpent. So it looks like we're resuming the "prophecy" plot. Dang it.

Cap knocks down Loki, and accuses him of having brought Thor to the Midgard Serpent on purpose. Speaking of them, they've resumed their destined fight because Thor has resumed his whole "destined" mindset.

Thor: "Now come, foul worm! Let us embrace!"

...You know what? I'm not touching that statement.

So now there's fights on Earth and below Asgard. Speaking of Earth, Doom starts go all world-domination crazy. The new plan is to get him so mad that he loses control by continually attacking and regrouping. After tricking Doom into destroying his own castle, they tell him to look upon all that destruction he done did wrought.

Iron Man: "Decades of glory, Victor. Wiped out in a day by you."

And the armor shuts down on Earth.

Over in... wherever, Doom wakes up and is rightly upset to see the rest of the Avengers. Using his purple crown, he starts commanding around the Midgard Serpent. Thor and Loki manage to take the Serpent out with a little teamwork, and Cap manages to knock the crown off of Doom's head.  The trolls return, so the heroes and Doom beat a hasty retreat, with only Thor and Loki staying behind.

Loki: "Is there any trick you won't fall for?"

Back on Earth, Dr. Doom declines Tony's offer of financial assistance with some green lightning to the face and politely demands that they all get off his lawn.

Back in Hell, Loki and Thor fight as Loki begins to activate the Destroyer armor. But before the boot up sequence completes, Hulk throws the inert armor towards the moon. The shock of waking up in space disconnects Loki, and Thor escapes to Asgard as he leaves Loki to the mercy of the trolls.

In space, no one can hear you scream while trolls impale your head upon pikes.
And the episode ends. Let's review this sequel to a less-than-stellar episode.

1 comment:

  1. Every night Doctor Doom cries himself to sleep while in an Odin costume and surrounded by pictures of Asgard; also Sue is still trying to understand why he made her wear that Sif costume the last time he captured her, before, of course she freed herself and then argued with everyone that wasn't Reed, needless to say that was a slow Friday.