Recap: Avengers Assemble "The Avengers Protocol: Part 2"

If I can remember where we left off...

Yeah, this looks about right.

Red Skull: Cloaked in iron? 
Tony Stark: Mechanically Mola Ram'd? 
Hulk: Not Bruce Banner?

If none of those statements made sense to you, go read this Recap.

Even more assembly required.

Hulk smashes a way directly out of the subterranean lair, and the team escapes. Cap carries out the still-living Tony, but the verdict doesn't look good. His arc reactor's been removed, and he doesn't have any robotic comic relief nearby to hand him a new one. Falcon scans him with... the eyeholes in his spandex mask, apparently, and says that it doesn't look good. The bad news is that the jet is broken. The good news is that everyone can it in Black Widow's flying car. Apparently, its previous owner was Arthur Weasley.

Thanks to Thor using wind control to speed them up, it looks like they'll be able to make it back to New York from Antarctica in less time than it takes for Tony Stark's literally heartless body to die. I trust you don't need a globe or a cardiology textbook to realize why that's unlikely.

But the opening titles go and we return from the break to see the Avengers land outside Avengers Mansion, and they rush inside. Falcon plugs everything he can find into Tony's chest and flips a switch, bringing Tony to life Frankenstein-style. Tony tells JARVIS to activate the Mark-50 armor (Tony, go outside once in a while), and JARVIS does what he always does when Tony wants his latest armor: he tells Tony it's not ready yet. But Tony's the boss, so he goes to suit up.

Meanwhile, Red Skull monologues about how great is new armor is while standing in his evil submarine. You can tell it's evil because the into or lighting is tinted red. He outlines his new plan to MODOK:
Defeat all the Avengers on their home turf.
Good luck, you Nazi bastard.

Actually, he has more than luck on his side, as it seems that the villains managed to send some microbots to piggyback on Black Widow's car, and they're heading for the Mansion.

Meanwhile (again), Tony suits up in a modular (see: Law of Conservation of Mass-breaking) armor that he claims is better than any of his "arc reactor models," despite the familiar blue glow of an arc reactor coming out of his chest. With his new, shiny suit, he tells the Avengers that he doesn't need them anymore. Say hello to Tony Stark's character arc that will. Not. Die. He's going to have to learn to work with a team.

Over.

And over.

And over.

Hawkeye: "Seriously? You rebooted the Avengers just to break us all up again?"

Everyone but Captain America and Falcon leaves in a huff. Black Widow and Hawkeye talk for a bit about S.H.I.E.L.D., and the microbots enter the building. Thor and Hulk reminisce in the training room in the way they do best: fighting. During the fight, the Hulk inhales the microbots, which take over his body and force him to lay a smack down.

Back with Cap and Tony, they discuss his fears about leading a team. Specifically, that he doesn't want to lead others to their deaths. Thor and Hulk, both infected at this point, break through to the rest of the mansion and go all out with attacking each other. The microbots infect Hawkeye and Black Widow, and they start fighting each other.

Black Widow: "Hate you!" 
Hawkeye: "Hate you more!"

S.H.I.E.L.D.'s finest, ladies and gentlemen.

A Daily Bugle Media chopper arrives to report on the Avengers' infighting, and Red "Iron" Skull and MODOK teleport into the mansion to enact phase two of their vague, dastardly plan.

Cap and Falcon go off to try and stop the fighting, and Tony tries to fix his untested (see: broken) armor while also trying to figure out why the others are attacking each other. He watches the "microbots" take over Cap and Falcon, and the Red Skull finds what he's looking for in the Mansion: a green glowy thing.

Iron Man, having fixed his suit enough, sneaks up behind MODOK and blasts him. He pulls a better version of his EMP trick (one that doesn't also take out his own armor) and disables the microbots. He explains the situation to the groggy Avengers.

Iron Man: "MODOK. Microbots. Mind control. Me. Mend. Miracle."

Meh.

Iron Man goes off to fight Red Skull, telling the Avengers that he'll need a team effort. The Avengers work together and work one-by-one to take out Red Skull. Skull promises all sorts of revenge and teleports away seconds before the device he placed on the mansion's reactor goes boom. Falcon technobabbles as the building crumbles, but the gist is that the reactor will explode and take them all out. Iron Man forms the plan, Falcon and Thor go to do some electro-technobabble involving lighting (to focus the blast into space, or some such), and Hulk throws the reactor into the sky.

To the surprise of no one, it works.

The team regroups, and they wonder if the Avengers are over for a third time.

Tony: "Let's talk."

Meanwhile, in the villains' submarine, MODOK goes over their accumulated data, eager to attack the Avengers again. But the Red Skull has other plans, and he sends out a signal.

"MODOK, log me into Skype."

Red Skull: "If you are receiving this signal, consider it a sign of my respect. And a call to arms. Time and again we have been kept from our rightful place by these so-called 'Avengers' because we are unable to put aside our petty differences. You want your fates to change? If you want the world tremble before you, stand at my side. Join my Cabal. We will destroy the Avengers together!"

And we see others receiving the signal.

Attuma, warlord of Atlantis.
Doctor Doom, evil dictator.
Dracula. ...Dracula.

Uh oh.

Back at Avengers Tower, Tony briefs the others on the Skull's transmission, which had been picked up earlier by S.H.I.E.L.D. Looks like the world will need the Avengers after all. We get some Hulk hijinks as the team gets introduced to their new digs, and the episode ends as the team gets called in to fight what appears to be Fin Fang Foom in  the "Avenjet Prime."  Avenjet. Prime. I honestly can't decide if that name is stupid or awesome.

But I have no such qualms with this two-parter. Let's review.