Saturday, March 5, 2016

Sketchbook: Rend's Cunning Plan

Oh, goodness, this story brings back memories.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the secret origin of my second D&D character, Rend the Steadfast.

Long ago... well, long story short, there were some guys on a quest to restore the power of the elemental crystals, a la the first Final Fantasy game.

The "heroes" were as follows:

A gravedigger, who moonlighted as a necromancer. Or perhaps vice-versa.

Another gravedigger, who moonlighted as an assassin. (My first character in the quest.)

A ranger, I believe, who I can only remember was played by the biggest lovable goofball of the group.

A halfling thief, who bore an uncanny resemblance to Tom Hiddleston.

Another halfling thief, who liked to fill his inventory with twigs.

And a chicken who was once a man.

Their quest was briefly sidetracked when the chicken suddenly regained his true, elven form and introduced himself as "Sir Charles." He told a tale about how his greedy, evil father had cursed him into this form while also selling their sacred forests to land developers who wanted to pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

So after the Dungeon Master entered the game to personally turn him back into a chicken, the quest continued. After some hijinks, the party found themselves at a volcano, asking a lava golem for the gem of fire. The creature of molten rock offered the gem up, and my character caught the 2000-degree gem in his barely-wrapped-up hands. To teach my character a lesson, the other gravedigger trapped him in a forcefield of positive energy and left him there, vowing revenge. That was where the game ended for the day.

The next time we all got online (we played over Facebook), I had lost my character sheet. So I whipped out one of my unused character ideas and whipped up a new character, Rend the Steadfast.

Here's the problem: The rest of the party had entered a port city found a woman, Captain Grey, with a fine ship, the Phoenix. So they were on a boat. And it was going fast.

And so, as the party looked out over the ocean, they saw a muscular man on a raft, who soon jumped aboard the ship and introduced himself as a lawful good monk, who had seen visions of a dark future he had to avoid. He was welcomed with open arms, and was soon taken to the sleeping quarters to catch some Z's after a long day of paddling with his strong legs.

Before anyone could ask exactly how he ended up alone on the wreckage of another ship, a kraken attacked. The same one that just happened to have wrecked Rend's last ship. When Rend woke up, he decided to employ the same strategy that he used on the last boat: a molotov cocktail.

A fire attack on a wooden boat. What could go wrong?
And so, as Rend burned down a second boat, the party's Ranger summoned giant eagles to fly everyone away.

It certainly wasn't the last time Rend would do something so stupid, but those are stories for another time.

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