Recap: Avengers: EMH (Micro-Episode 15) "The Red Skull Strikes!"

Last time, on this very 'MURICA channel! ...yeah, the 'murica thing's getting old.

As if it ever wasn't.

Since last time, Cap and Bucky seem to agree with me that a cyclops doesn't belong in WWII.

Bucky: "Okay, we've seen some weird stuff in this war. But what... is that?"
Captain America: "I don't know. One of Zola's experiments, maybe. But whatever it is, it's angry!"

So they trick the cyclops into smashing the drawbridge, sending it to its doom and delve deeper into the castle. In another room they come across some HYDRA weaponry. Smart bombs, nerve gas, biological weapons, things shrunken in jars, the usual mad science. Cap vows to end the Red Skull here and now, and they keep going. In another room, they come across what appears to be the Bridge of Khazad-dûm overlooking a magical menagerie. Giant wolves, trolls, faeries, another cyclops, they're all contained in gigantic bell jars.

Red Skull gives an evil chuckle and invites Cap down to watch some history unfold. HYDRA goons with guns arrive to seal the deal. Cap gets his shield taken away and surrenders so as not to endanger Bucky with a needless fight.

"Way to go, Boy Hostage. When we get back to the states, I'm going to see if Batman has an extra Robin I can borrow."

Cap asks Red Skull if he's still doing Baron Zemo's dirty work (making me scratch my head over which one is the "Hitler" in this hierarchy), and Skull proclaims that he's going to steal "supernaturally powerful beings" from a realm described in Norse mythology. So, cyclopes really aren't a part of Norse mythology, as far as I know. Maybe they took the wrong turn at Muspelheim and hit Mount Olympus instead?

Red Skull: "All myths have some basis in truth."

All myths? Okay, I do not want to know the "truth" behind Priapus. And neither do you, so stop Googling it.

Red Skull explains that this castle is built over the remains of a bridge to a realm of powerful beings. At one time, the bridge was called "Bifrost." You may know it better as "the rainbow bridge to Asgard." Okay, I want to see the alternate reality where Thor became a Nazi. Then I want to see him fight Communist Superman.

Thanks to electroshock collars, the mythological beasts are under the Skull's control. But enough explanation, the unnamed HYDRA scientist (I'm going to call him "von Blitzschlag") opens a portal with massive amounts of electricity, and teleports a "specimen" over. But before what appears to be a Frost Giant can be fully teleported, Cap and Bucky use the distraction to take out the HYDRA guards and get back Cap's shield. The SCIENCE is damaged in the ensuing fight, which frees all the monsters.

Whoops.

To be continued!