Recap: Avengers: EMH (Micro-Episode 08) "The Siege of Asgard"

For the next Micro-Episode, we cross the rainbow bridge of Asgard! Where the booming heavens roar! You’ll behold in breathless wonder! The God of thunder, Mighty Thor!

Try not to behold in breathless wonder for too long, though. Breathing is good.

We open up on a shot of the Bifrost Rainbow Bridge going into Asgard, and it. Is. Gorgeous. It's rendered in the same Kirby-ish style as the rest of the series, and it works so amazingly well.

This screencap doesn't do it justice.

But a snowy wind begins to blow into Asgard. The snow falls, the wind howls, and a soldier on the walls narrows his eyes and braces himself. No, winter is not coming, it's a trio of Frost Giants. They start throwing rocks into Asgard, hitting towers, walls, and the great hall, where Asgardian warriors watch what can only be described as a bellydancer. Well, it won't be the first stripper Disney ever had in its animation.

Now, I'm completely against the objectification of women... but dang, she works that pole good.

More giants appear, and one climbs the wall, cuts the moat down, and lets the others in. Ordering the Frost Giants to attack the city is their leader: Loki. Not sexy, bad-boy, film Loki. Evil, twisted, heartless, not-that-good-looking comic book Loki. Sorry, to cool your loins there, ladies. Probably a few gentlemen, as well.

The Frost Giants get to smashing, and Thor appears next to Heimdall. Heimdall exposits that it's soon time for Odin's big nap called the Odinsleep, after which he regains his strength for another year, and that's why Loki's attacking now. Thor goes off to knock down some Frost Giants, and does so. But before he can, Baldr the Shining God beats him in felling the first one. Hooray for Baldr! You know what? Forget Thor. Back in the Viking times, everybody liked Baldr. And I can see why. No hammer, no lightning, no flying. He just climbs a giant and stabs it in the eye. Like. A. Boss.

The Warriors Three and Lady Sif get in on the action, too, but Thor shows up and begins to takes out the remaining trio of giants. All the while, a pair of crows have been watching. They report back to Odin, who wait just a minute.

 What is this malarkey?

Odin has... two eyes?  No. Odin has one eye. Odin has always had one eye. Okay, not always, but it's a well established part of mythological lore that Odin traded one eye for a drink from the Well of Wisdom! Okay, let's be fair. Asgard probably has the technology to make glass eyes. This gets a pass, but only because I'm nitpicking.

Outside, Thor begins to summon lightning, but is stopped by Loki, who freezes him in place. It doesn't take. Thor emerges and, after a pummeling, manages to keep himself from getting eaten. Then he summons the lightning, defeating all the Frost Giants. But now it's boss battle time, and Loki zaps him through a few walls.

Loki: "Welcome home. Brother."

Dun-dun-du- wait, this wasn't a reveal. To be continued, then.