Monday, July 20, 2015

Review: Avengers: United They Stand "Kang"

Going to be honest with you all, this episode didn't leave much of an impression on me. Which is the biggest crime for a series entirely based on being X-TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM.

Actually, it's pretty ironic that I'm struggling to find things to say about the series that cured my burnout last April.

But in summary?

I expected better from you, Avengers: UTS. Or worse.
Kang escapes his time-prison. After enough stalling, the Avengers send him back there.

Actually, let’s talk about one of those words. “Stalling.” This episode was all about stalling. As soon as Falcon told Tigra and Hawkeye to occupy Kang while he grabbed the obelisk, this episode was all about wasting the villain’s time until Hank could come up with a solution. Stalling at the museum. Stalling at the mansion. Then Hank watches a documentary about the future and figures out a way to save the day.

Tigra and New York suffering from rapid aging? Barely a problem. Tigra doesn’t even act like she cares about becoming an old lady. She makes a joke about forgetting her sunscreen and fights Kang anyway.

Time is such a major part of Kang’s arsenal… and yet, there are no metaphors in it. Nothing like “time waits for no man,” or “no time like the present.”

What do the characters learn? Nothing.

Do they grow as people in some way? No.

Is there an ongoing story being furthered? No.

Plenty of things happen, but nothing important happens. Nothing that happens feels like it has any weight to it, not even Tigra enduring a terrible fate. Especially since that problem’s reversed pretty darn quickly.

Henry Pym/Ant-Man

So. Hank. I get that you had the obelisk booby-trapped, but your teammates didn’t know that. In fact, they seemed to be inches away from beating you up to stop you from apparently betraying the future. I mean, I know you had a plan the whole time, but… jeez. Oh, and nobody calls Ant-Man out on this after the day is saved?

Kang (Ken Kramer)
Remember how I said that Ultron didn’t seem like much of a threat? At least Ultron had missiles.

Everybody talks big about how big and bad Kang is, but we never see him do much after his flying saucer gets broken. Apart from unleashing a single time-bomb, he never really feels like much of an active threat. And since this episode’s tension was predicated on Kang feeling like an unstoppable force, the episode falls apart because of Kang. He rants, he gloats, he talks like a stereotypical Saturday morning cartoon villain. Yawn.

Not once did he feel like anything more than a generic threat.

Honestly, Kang’s redesign is pretty restrained for the 90’s, and I like the helmet. If they hadn’t made him so Liefeldianly muscular, I’d say it was a really good design. But alas, the 1990’s had their mitts all over the designs for this show.

Clearly, this guy needed muscles the size of watermelons.
Final Thoughts
This episode was just… nonexistent. Not once did I really feel like anything was happening. The stakes didn’t feel legitimate, the villain didn’t feel like a threat, and the Avengers themselves never felt like characters. They felt like action figures fighting another action figure.

In a show that epitomizes the ridiculousness of the 90’s, it’s bland and boring. Which is the worst thing this show could possibly give us.

Hopefully, the next episode continues with the ridiculousness and over-the-top excess the premiere gave us. See you then.

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