Saturday, April 4, 2015

Recap/Review: Gotham Girls "Lady-X"

Finally, the season finale of Gotham Girls. Most shows try to end their seasons with a bang. Gotham Girls isn't "most shows."
Thank goodness.
Once again, the pre-load game is the one where you try to hit the targets that move too fast with Harley’s boxing glove. Moving on.

The webisode opens up on a headline asking the hard-hitting question of the day... Who is this mysterious "Lady-X?" The only problem is that Lady-X's mug is plastered on the front page.

And she's posing for the shot.
Now, I'm no journalist, but I'd say that this pretty much busts the case wide open. Imagine if Bruce Wayne fought crime with out a mask. I don't think Riddler would be obsessing so much over figuring out his secret identity.

Anyway, Harley's busy reading the newspaper while Ivy just looks like she doesn't want to be here.

"Just here to say my lines and get a paycheck."
Harley gets upset over the whole thing because Lady X kidnapped the Mayor's wife using a pie.

Harley: "Pies are my MO!"

Catwoman then barges in and airs her own grievances about Lady X. Specifically, she stole the Catspaw Opal that Catwoman had been eyeballing. She tells Ivy that Lady X set some plants on fire to create a distraction, reasoning that Ivy can't be too happy about that.

Poison Ivy: "I'm not. But she's not exactly in the yellow pages."

Yeah, if only you had a big ol' photo of her unmasked face as a starting point.

Oh wait.
Catwoman has a lead, but she'll need some help.

Catwoman: "She works out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at the Tower Top Gym."



Are you serious?

She has a set workout schedule. That's apparently common knowledge. And she's not disguising herself in any conceivable way. Do I even have to point out why Catwoman knowing where to find Lady X is just stupid? Like why the cops don't know, considering Lady X doesn't disguise herself? Or how, if this is supposed to be a secret, Catwoman found out? Or why the heck Lady X used a gorram pie in a kidnapping?

"But Newt," a hypothetical audience member pipes up, "it's just an internet cartoon from the early-2000's. You can't expect it to be the same quality as a modern internet cartoon."

Actually, this hypothetical audience member raises a good point. It's not going to be good by modern standards. But this was still made by Warner Brothers, and I've seen amateurs from the same time as Gotham Girls produce things miles ahead of this. Actually, speaking of amateurs, well, let’s just say there’s a reason that Lady-X isn’t hiding her face.

Back in the webisode, the three villainesses use Ivy's giant vines to make their way up to the top of the Towertop tower, followed by Batgirl. Yeah, she just kind of appeared from stage left. The three femme fatales make their way into the steam room, wearing pink towels around their bodies and on their heads. But their masks are still on. After my earlier rant, anything I can say to complain would be kind of redundant.

Catwoman: "She's in there."
Poison Ivy: "You sure?"
Catwoman: "I tracked her through her locker ID."

I guess that's what happens when your face plasters the front page.

Batgirl, also in the towel ensemble, follows them. Soon, it's just the three villains, Batgirl, and Lady X in the steam room. Lady X gives them the slip as the villains and heroine take off each other's towels.  The ones on their heads. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Either Harley's wearing clown makeup all over her body, or she really needs to get some sun.
The four of them use their incredibly stiff and jerky run cycles to chase after Lady X, and they eventually corner her in her full costume in the weight room. We get a fight scene complete with Adam West-style fight music as well as what would definitely be an inappropriate shot of Batgirl, if not for the fact that she is apparently built with Barbie-doll anatomy.

The camera actually shows more, but I'm not.
Catwoman's best kick just bounces off Lady X's bellybuttonless abs, and Lady X counters with laser vision.

Because why not.
A little teamwork makes quick work of Lady X, Batgirl and Catwoman shake hands in another Adam West homage, and the webisode ends right there, with as little catharsis as humanly possible.

Now, you may be wondering why I said there’d be an explanation for why Lady-X doesn’t have a mask. Here it is.

Lady-X was a generic villain whose physical features would be added at later date. Specifically, the features of the Create-A-Villain contest after said contest was over. Which is why no one can recognize Lady-X, despite the fact that she doesn’t wear a mask. You get to browse through the other finalists.

This one's my favorite.
The plot was bare bones, the animation was jerkier than usual, and the villain is generic. What else can I say that I haven’t already? Though I will admit, this must have been a lot of fun for "R. Larry Williams" to see his design end up used. Congratulations.

All in all, Gotham Girls ends its first season with a whimper. When I next return to the series, I’ll be looking at the much improved Season 2. That is, after I do a Review of the entire first season as a whole. A hit? A miss? Worth even checking out? I’ll let you know.

See you then.

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