Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Recap/Review: Gotham Girls "Lap Bat"

Welcome back to Gotham Girls, the part of the DCAU no one talks about. The booger on the Mona Lisa, as my old band director would say. Ah, to be back in the era of dial-up, when a cartoon like this would take at least an hour to load. And even longer if someone wanted to use the phone while it loaded. But enough talk about how good you dang kids have it, let's begin.

Dang kids, with your Twitfaces, and the giant holes in your ears, and the Miley Biebers....
As the episode loads, I was once again "treated" to the option to play a game. The same one as last time. Because to heck with keeping things new and fresh!

To heck I say!
The episode opens with Catwoman on a rooftop, carrying a jade statue shaped like, say it with me, a cat.

Catwoman: "Lost ya."

Well, it's bound to happen to an audience when you begin in medias res.

As it turns out, she's talking about Batgirl, who hasn't actually been given the slip.

Batgirl: "Gotcha!"

I'd say this was the end of the episode, but I'd just be... nah, that pun's bad even by my standards.
Batgirl jumps up and grabs the idol, and they struggle over it while making generic grunting sounds that seem oddly disconnected from their actions. Catwoman exposits that it's taken her six years to get the "Jade Gato."

Batgirl: "Funny. It only took me ten minutes to figure out how to snatch it back."

Yeah, but you snatched Catwoman's leg on your first attempt.

Catwoman lets go, and Batgirl goes tumbling over the edge of the building with the Jade Gato. Catwoman slashes her rope, but Batgirl manages to grab a loose brick. Catwoman offers a deal. If Batgirl hands over the magic sculpture, she'll help her up. Yes, magic; Catwoman reveals that the sculpture supposedly gives mystic abilities to its owner.

Catwoman: "Brings good luck. Long life. The usual. Oh, and it is worth three million bucks."

Truly, money is the greatest magic of all.

Batgirl refuses to hand it over, so Catwoman escapes before the cops can show up. So it looks like Batgirl's stuck. Naturally, she takes her anger out on the sculpture.

Batgirl: "Hell of a good luck charm you turned out to be."

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the first swear word ever uttered in the the DC Animated Universe. And it's in Gotham Girls of all things. Probably because no one was actually running any censorship on this series. Or quality control, from what I've seen so far.

Batgirl's brick finally gives way, and she falls to the ground. Luckily, the Gato turns her into a cat, so she lands safely on her feet. Catwoman shows up and finds the-Cat-formerly-known-as-Batgirl and takes her to her apartment. The interactivity shows back up, asking me to use my mouse to scratch the-the Cat-formerly-known-as-Batgirl's ears, revealing her inner thoughts.

Batgirl: "She's never this nice to me. Most of the time... Oooh. Ooooooooh yeah, right behind the ear. Scratch behind the ear. Behind the ear, woman!"

Well, that was oddly intimate.

After Catwoman wishes she had the Jade Gato, Batgirl changes back to normal and handcuffs Catwoman.

Batgirl: "Gotcha!"

Oh, don't act like you planned this out, Batgirl.
This was much better than the first installment. Though that's not saying much.

The animation wasn't as bad as last time, with even a few impressive poses for the characters, and the writing was much better. It actually felt like something that could have taken place in the DCAU; almost like a highly-condensed version of "This Little Piggy" from Justice League.

All in all, the animation itself is fairly comparable to the stuff that amateurs were making in 2000 and the story itself could have easily worked as a DC Nation short, or something. If things keep improving, this could be... dare I say? Good?

We'll see if the animator ends up getting the hang of Flash next time. See you then.

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