|Consider yourself lucky. I've found that alcohol makes my puns even worse.|
It seems as though something or someone has utterly wrecked a dock as well as the shipping containers on it. Or maybe it's just in New Jersey. There's a few unconscious dock workers aren't looking good, either. Jersey air will do that to you.
(To my New York readers: You're welcome!)
(To my New Jersey readers: I'm sorry.)
Suddenly, a wrecking ball smashes into some crates on a ship with "Stark Industries" painted on the side. This would be a perfect time for a Miley Cyrus joke, but I'm not going to make one. Because I can be better than that. The wrecking ball is pulled back to its owner, the musclebound Thunderball. But I'm not going to make a James Bond joke. Because I can be better than that.
The wrecking ball-wielding Thunderball is joined with his fellow teammates, collectively known as the Wrecking Crew, led by the Wrecker. Urge to make Miley Cyrus joke rising.... Thunderball then exposits that the bit of tech they're after is a Stark Gamma-emitter. Because of course Stark built one of those. Actually, think about it. Bruce Banner got hit by a Gamma bomb, Tony Stark built a Gamma-emitter, Tony Stark used to make weapons for the military... I'm not saying, I'm just saying. Anyway, the cops show up. We then cut to an ambulance getting a report of officers down, and I'm pretty sure we can fill in the blanks ourselves. It's called in as a possible "Code Blue."
Male Paramedic: "Code Blue? Never heard of that."
Female Paramedic: "I have. Supervillains."
Uh, I hope that paramedic has actually heard of a Code Blue. Because in real life, a "Code Blue" refers to a patient who needs emergency resuscitation, aka "They stopped breathing."
|Been a while since I had you guys learn something.|
Thor's all like, "I got this" and moves in to lay the smackdown on the other three.
Bulldozer: 1-hit KO
Piledriver: 1-hit KO
But what can you expect? Thor plays on God-Mode. Wrecker manages to hold him off by kicking the God of Thunder right in the... I was going to call them "Thunderballs," but there's already a character with that name in the story. Shoot.
|And so, the readers narrowly avoided a terrible joke, but only narrowly.|
Wrecker: "The mighty Thor? More like a mighty big idi..."
He doesn't get to finish that sentence, though, because Thor's hammer flies out of the wreckage and hits them so hard they all go flying. But, as Thor gets out, Wrecker has already taken the female paramedic hostage.
Thor: "Have you no honor?"
Wrecker: "Not even a little."
Thor: "Then you should be familiar with attacking a foe from behind."
Wrecker gets hit in the head with Thor's returning hammer, knocking him out, and Thor makes sure she's all right. He's quite impressed with her bravery, what with being a puny human who risks her life for the sake of others. She introduces herself as Jane Foster, and let me just say this to those of you who have only seen the films. In the comics, she's a nurse. So revamping her into a paramedic is a step up from being a nurse, not a step down from being a scientist. Just wanted to stop that argument in its tracks, because I've heard it before.
|Also, she's hot. I know she's just a 2-dimensional image... but just look at those dimensions!|
Next stop: Asgard!