Recap: Teen Titans Go! "Hey Pizza!"

Beast Boy and Cyborg try to slow down the pizza guy to take advantage of their "30 minutes or it's free" deal.

Boom. I've said all I need to say. The episode is pretty much exactly what you'd expect this show to do with that premise.

It's common knowledge by this point that "Meatball Party" was the moment where the writers realized how off-the-wall they could make these episodes. And if you ask me, I'd say that "Hey Pizza!" represents some of the inside-the-box thinking they were finding themselves doing for a bit.

Inside the pizza box, perhaps?

...Yeah, I really reached for that one.

The episode begins with a hot, grumpy sun shining down upon Titans Tower. It's so hot, in fact, that even inside the Tower's freezer, Beast Boy's popsicle catches fire. Man, global warming finally stopped screwing around.

Foolishly, Beast Boy steps outside the roasting tower in the hopes that things will improve, setting his parasol and fan on fire in the process. Even Silkie shrivels down to a dried-out husk (not unlike the one they tried to fool Starfire with). But a quick dip in the pool helps Beast Boy and Silkie... before the sun boils their pool water. So Beast Boy returns to the living room to tell Cyborg to finish fixing the thermostat.

Cyborg: "Red wire... blue wire... purple wire?"

In the end, Raven magicks the thermostat fixed, giving me an opportunity to whip out a quote from the earlier episode "Double Trouble."

Robin: "Magic is a powerful tool not to be used for petty reasons."

And yet, Raven likes to whip out her magic like a Halliwell sister.

But speaking of Robin, he comes along to tell Cyborg what a great job he did fixing the thermostat and announces that the Titans will be funding a "community improvement project"... which raises the question as to who exactly is paying for the Titans' operation here, if they have enough money to donate to community improvement. But let's just say "Wayne Industries" and move on.
Beast Boy suggests that they should build a pool, an idea with which Cyborg wholeheartedly agrees.

Robin: "A pool is nice, but we really need to help out an underserved population."
Raven: "Offspring of inter-dimensional demons?"
Cyborg: "Half-robots?"
Beast Boy: "Gophers?"

But Robin announces that they'll be building a senior citizens' center, which the other Titans immediately imagine as being a terrible experience filled with stereotypes of old people.

Hm. I wonder if later episodes will contradict this by establishing that Raven loves old people.
...Add it to the list.

Robin is adamant that they should help out the old fogies, but Starfire comes in with a dilemma. She just bought a bikini "on the line," but has no place to use it.
Robin: "We're building a pool!"

No, really, this episode is about pizza, I swear.

Also, don't the Teen Titans have their own pool? Because it's certainly going to show up in later episodes.

No, apart from that one.

Beast Boy: "So Rae-Rae. You gonna buy a new bathing suit, too?"Raven: "This is my bathing suit."

I believe it.

Beast Boy: "Hot."

Speaking of hot, Beast Boy and Cyborg end up lounging on the couch watching an ad for Zippy's Pizza and their "30 minutes or it's free" deal. Pizza sounds pretty good, but they don't want to pay for it. Beast Boy goes ahead and orders a half-vegan, half-super-meaty from Zippy's before activating the Tower's computer. The computer calculates the delivery-guy's journey at 45 minutes, thus making the pizza free.

Beast Boy: "There's no way that fool could get here in under thirty minutes."
Cyborg: "There's no way that fool could get here in under thirty minutes!"
Both: "There's no way that fool could get here in under thirty minutes!"

Hey, guess what? That fool gets there in under thirty seconds. Reluctantly, they pay the man, and he leaves. When the elevator door opens again, Beast Boy yells "No tip!" only to discover that he just yelled at some old people who stopped by to see Robin. Also, Beast Boy, plenty of positions in the food service industry (including waiters/waitresses and delivery drivers) are grossly underpaid, with the expectation that the money they deserve will probably be made up in tips. So by refusing to tip that guy because he's doing his job by bringing pizza within a reasonable timeframe is pretty terrible behavior. Not to mention the fact that Beast Boy's the one who came up with this scheme to basically defraud Zippy's Pizza. Between this and "Ghost Boy," Beast Boy's kind of becoming a major jerk.

Anyway, the old folks fill Robin's mouth with cookies, leaving him incapable of explaining the change in plans while they thank him for his help with the senior center. After swallowing his cookies, the unintentional guilt trip works, and Robin begins to apologize to the old folks for nearly canceling the plans for the senior center. Of course, that's when Starfire comes in with a picture of the bikini she ordered. It is eensy-weensy, teeny-weeny, yellow, and polka-dotted. So Robin kicks all the old people out of the Tower and gets excited about building a pool once again.

Back with Beast Boy and Cyborg, they've ordered another pizza. This time, Cyborg has decided to commit a few felonies by hacking the traffic lights to slow down the delivery, messing with crosswalks, raising drawbridges, halting him at train crossings, and more. But all for nothing, as the two are soon forced to fork over some dough for their doughy goodness.

Cyborg: "Ready to give up?"
Beast Boy: "We're talkin' free pizza here, dude. What do you think?"

Soon enough, Robin is breaking ground at the pool that the old people think is a senior center. They thank him with a new costume they knitted themselves with their janky, arthritic hands

Yeesh. Looks like a pink nightmare.

Robin struggles yet again to explain the change in plans.

Uh, Robin, if you want to help these old folks, you should find out exactly what's causing their shockingly acute cases of Dupuytren's contracture.

Old Lady: "Robin, this senior center has given us all something besides death to look forward to."

Yeah, I'd prefer to think about Wii bowling, too.

As they leave, Robin criticizes himself for preparing to build a stupid ol' pool instead of giving something to these nice seniors. Which is Starfire's cue to come over and discuss applying sun lotion.

Robin: "Old people like pools, right?"

After a quick pool fantasy that puts Starfire's voice in the mouth of an old lady, we cut back to the Tower, where Cyborg and Beast Boy are ordering yet another pizza, activating the Tower's high-tech security dome... that the delivery guy bypasses unseen to deliver his hot, cheesy wares. Beast Boy hands over a few of Robin's hard-earned Luthors to pay for the pizza, and Cyborg declares war.

Beast Boy: "Pizza war!"

After a montage of their various attempts to slow down the pizza guy, with pizza after pizza building up in the living room, they finally run out of money, meaning that Beast Boy has to pay by offering the pizza guy a pony ride.

Cyborg and Beast Boy, with no more options, hit... the button. The shiny, red, candylike button zaps the pizza place from orbit, rendering them incapable of delivering pizza in under thirty minutes. Or even making pizzas.

And some people are probably dead.

Cyborg: "We're going to jail!"
Beast Boy: "Quick! Find your passport!"
Cyborg: "It was your idea!"
Beast Boy: "It was your idea, dude!"

But before they can really argue further...

Beast Boy: "Ahh! I gotta go hide some stuff in my room!"

But before Beast Boy can flush his weed and throw his bong out, the delivery guy shows up, easing their worries. The pizza guy survived! ...And we'll never hear anything about the other people who work there, so I guess we can assume that they died. So... How are Beast Boy and Cyborg going to pay for this pizza? Is the driver going to accept a pony ride as payment again?

Back in town, Robin has two sets of blueprints. One for a pool, one for a senior center. It's the moment of truth. He compares the various pros of pools and senior centers... And in the end, Robin builds the senior center and attends the grand opening alongside the grim reaper.

Over in the corner, Cyborg and Beast Boy have a laugh over their little pizza obsession... as the pizza guy arrives at the senior center after thirty-one minutes, resulting in free pizza.

They take it well, considering.

Robin apologizes to Starfire about not building a pool, but she's fine with it. And she even shows off her itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikini anyway. The one she bought for Silkie.

I think Sonia would approve.

And as Robin chokes back vomit, the episode ends. Yeah, it's abrupt, but things are too wrapped-up for me to say that the episode simply stops. Now let's review.