Recap: "Goosebumps" Werewolf Skin, Part 1

Readers, for Halloween this year, I'd like to welcome you to the final werewolf story to be adapted into a Goosebumps episode. And ironically, the first one I'm going over. And like "The Werewolf of Fever Swamp," this one's a two-parter.

Full-body werewolf costumes are expensive, I guess. Gotta get your money's worth.

The episode opens up on that ol' werewolf staple, a full moon. So either this entire story is going to take place over a single night, or the lunar cycle is going to take one for the team like in many other werewolf stories.

The location is the middle of nowhere. Specifically, a gas station in a town called Wolf Creek. A bus drives up and drops off a walking heap of sarcasm named Alex Blackwell (Keegan MacIntosh), which is a Bond villain name if I ever heard one. Especially if he started going by "Alexander."

Julius No, Francisco Scaramanga, and Alexander Blackwell. Oh, yeah. He'll fit right in.

The driver, Aunt Frieda, tosses Alex's luggage on the ground after him, which earns her a sarcastic "thanks." Sure hope there was nothing breakable in there.

Bus Driver: "Pretty creepy around these parts, huh?"

Luckily, Alex paid attention to those old filmstrips from school and knows what to do when a weird stranger tries to strike up a conversation with a kid..

Alex: "Yeah, well, my aunt and uncle should be here any minute, so..."

But the driver continues talking as she starts telling a tale to pass the time.

Bus Driver: "I heard a story once about a headless ghost supposed to be out in those woods. And every night when the moon is full, he haunts the forest, seeking revenge. 'Give me back me head! Give me back my heeeaaad!'"

No, no, no, that's not how it goes, did you even read "The Headless Ghost"?

Alex: "Don't you have some kind of schedule to keep?"

"I just wanted to have a conversation with more depth than 'Last stop, everybody out.'"

Bus Driver: "You'll be alright, kid. Sun should be coming up... eventually. Have a nice night! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

....What an eccentric performance.

The bus drives off, leaving Alex by himself at a ramshackle gas station. So to pass the time, he re-reads the page in his Chiller Magazine that talks about their "Shudder Shot Contest," which is currently accepting spoopy photos.

Hey, looks like Ricky Beamer sent in an entry!

The big prize is a thousand bucks, which is more money than a kid Alex's age can imagine. You bet he wants to win this contest. So he takes a few practice shots as he waits for somebody to pick him up. A bug zapper, some lawn gnomes...

Sorry, Alex, you're not in the episode with the creepy lawn gnomes. Creepier than usual, that is.

....and the sign for the town.

Alex: "Wolf Creek. Wonder where they got that name."

I'm sure the town has a rich history that can be traced back to the French coming along and trading furs with the indigenous people, who called the land "Yunyeno Saundustee." And I'm sure Alex would respond with a sarcastic "Thanks" if somebody told him this.

In the book, his Aunt Marta joked "Because the name Chicago was already taken" when he asked. But here in the episode, there is no one around to tell him anything. Alex has been left all alone in front of a closed gas station in a strange town. Man, this would not fly today.

With no other choice, Alex falls asleep in front of the gas station/bait shop until morning, when the camera itself decides to run up and ambush him. The camera, as it turns out, represented the point of view of a harmless rabbit. Which is the cue for a hand to grab Alex from behind.

???: "Watch out, city boy. That might be a killer bunny."

The child-grabbing stranger is...

....

....Yes, I'm well aware I didn't do a Monty Python joke.

The stranger is actually Alex's Uncle Colin (Ron Lea).

Uncle Colin: "Sorry I'm late. Jeep's been acting up lately."

I guess in a time before cell phones, there was really nothing Uncle Colin could do. I mean, you know, apart from walking to the bus stop, borrowing a buddy's car, calling a friend or neighbor and asking them to pick Alex up, hiring a 24-hour taxi service....

As Colin takes some of Alex's bags, we learn that Colin and his wife Marta are photographers. Alex's camera was actually a gift from them, and Alex would like to go with them on a shoot sometime, maybe get some photography tips.

Uncle Colin: "Yeah, not much to it, just point and snap. Subject is what's important."

Yeah, yeah, lighting, composition, drama, flagpoles.

Uncle Colin: "You got to find that one thing that nobody's ever seen before and show it to them. Hopefully, in focus."

Alex: "Have you heard from Mom and Dad yet?"

Uncle Colin: "Yeah, they called from London this morning. They arrived safe and sound."

And, presumably, Colin either explained to them that their son was spending the night alone outside a gas station, or he lied his butt off when they asked about Alex.

To pad out the episode a little, Colin takes the fun way home in the jeep, and they meet up with Marta (Nicky Guadagni). Hugs and small talk ensue, and Alex tells them that he's looking to take a spoopy picture to win that thousand-dollar prize.

Uncle Colin: "Well, chief, you'd be out of luck around here."

Aunt Marta: "I'm afraid he's right. There's nothing particularly scary about Wolf Creek."

Alex: "What about that place?"

"You mean that particularly scary house?"

Uncle Colin: "Oh, that's the Marlings' house. You wanna stay away from that couple. They're crazy."

Aunt Marta: "Honey, don't say crazy. They're just... eccentric."

And no, they never say exactly what's odd about the Marlings' behavior.

Uncle Colin: "They're nuts."

"No, it's probably something to do with their heads, honey."

But Marta sniffs the air and discovers disaster.

Aunt Marta: "I'm making French toast for breakfast, only by the smell of things, I think it just became charcoal."

That's a lot of words to say "I burned breakfast." That time could be better spent putting the fire out.

Alex imagines the sweet pictures he'll be able to get from the Marlings' house before heading inside and taking a look around his new digs. He looks outside his window and spots the Marlings' house, but gets interrupted by Colin..

Uncle Colin: "Rule number two: If you wanna be a good photographer, don't leave your camera in the jeep."

Of course, that leaves rule number one.

Uncle Colin: "Take some pictures."

So Colin heads outside to do just that, hoping to win that contest. After taking some random neighborhood pictures, he scopes out to the Marlings' real quick before venturing into the woods, where he comes across a girl (Terra Vanessa Kowalyk).

Girl: "Don't worry. I don't bite."

"Then how do you eat food?"

Judging by her beads and jacket with fringe, she's the '90s-style hippie/outdoorsy type.

Girl: "I love this forest. You know they're gonna cut it all down and put up a mall?"

What are they doing for an encore, paving paradise?

Girl: "Like we need any more video arcades."

Man, I do miss video arcades here in 2017.

The girl introduces herself as Hannah Stoneman, and she reveals that she already knows about him being Colin and Marta's nephew, Alex.

Hannah: "The city boy."

She decides to give him the grand tour of the place.

"That's a tree, and that's a rock, and that flying thing there's a bird."
"Really? Wow, thanks!"

Hannah: "That's a tree, and that's a rock, and that flying thing there's a bird."

Alex: "Really? Wow, thanks!"

....Why is my joke dialogue the actual dialogue?

They talk for a bit about what it's like to live in the city, and how Hannah likes to be alone. But suddenly, the sun decides to set, so Hannah wants to get home.

Hannah: "The woods aren't really safe after dark."

Alex: "Why? Is that when the monsters come out, or something?"

Hannah: "That's not funny, Alex."

He stays behind to take a picture of the gigantic moon, and gets left behind as day-for-night falls. After wandering around the wilderness for a while, something begins to chase him.

Alex: "That's no rabbit!"

That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

There, happy?

Alex ends up running to the Marlings' house to scream for help and pound on the door, which is where Aunt Marta finds him.

Aunt Marta: "You shouldn't be out there after dark! It's not safe."

"But remember, there's nothing particularly scary about Wolf Creek.
Now go to your room, lock your door, and load your gun."

Aunt Marta: "And what did we say about the Marlings?"

"Something about their nuts?"

Marta takes Alex back home, explaining that Colin's off shooting and they've been waiting for Alex to come home for over an hour. She frantically tells Alex to stay inside the house while she heads off to join her husband.

Aunt Marta: "Look, Alex, we're working on a special project tonight, and the fewer bodies we have around, the better."

One of the few phrases that makes equal sense coming from either a nature photographer or a serial killer.

Marta ignores Alex's questions and drives off in the jeep, offering only one last piece of advice.

Aunt Marta: "And stay out of the woods."

"And the basement."

The next day, Alex has his first day of school in Wolf Creek. Today's subject: The word "Legend." And the teacher calls on Alex to define the word.

Alex: "Well, it's like a fairy tale."

In the same way that chairs are like beds, I guess.

Alex: "It's a... a lie that people believe in because they don't know the real reason for things."

Well... Kind of.

There's some overlap, but Alex just provided a closer definition of "myths." "Legends" are more along the lines of unverified stories.

For example, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. According to legend, they survived the infamous shootout in Bolivia.

The myth that Zeus threw lightning bolts across the sky was a lie people believed in because they didn't know the real reason for thunderstorms.

Not that the teacher cares.

Teacher: "That's very good Alex."

Another student named Sean (Bucky Hill) taunts Alex and provides a rebuttal.

Sean: "Just 'cause something's a legend doesn't mean it's not true."

That is a valid statement, but for the correct definition of "legend." Not the one Alex provided.

Sean brings up werewolves as an example of a true legend. Alex snickers at this, but the rest of the class falls silent.

Alex: "I mean, no one believes in werewolves... right?"

No answer. So the teacher asks if Sean believes the stories.

Sean: "Like if someone is bit by a werewolf, they'll be cursed. And when the moon is full, they'll turn into a werewolf, too."

But that can't be true here. It already was a full moon during Alex's first night at that gas station, and we didn't see any werewolves running around.

See, that's the problem with a lot of werewolf stories. Either you have to fudge the rules regarding how the moon affects them, or you have to set your story in a world where the moon is full for, like, a whole week. Although, to be fair, the moon is only truly 100% full for a mere moment. So to give this story the benefit of the doubt, I guess the moon has to be at least 80% illuminated or so for lycanthropy to take effect.

Alex: "And you can only kill 'em with a silver bullet, right?"

Sean: "That's the part of the legend that's not true. What really happens is when the sun rises, the werewolf sheds its skin. And if someone finds the skin and destroys it before the next full moon is at its highest point, the curse is over. And the werewolf inside the person dies."

Okay, I guess we're dealing with multiple full moons over multiple nights, judging by the fact that the full moon's "highest point" (which we'll see in the next episode) will come in a few days, despite every moon beforehand also being completely completely full.

Eh. Whatever. I've seen so many werewolf stories pull this sort of thing that I can't even be mad.

The teacher asks where Sean heard this particular legend, and Sean gives the answer you might expect.

Sean: "Around. If you live in Wolf Creek long enough, you hear lots of things."

Alex: "Or you go crazy."

I'd imagine both, in some cases.

But the bell rings, and the teacher quickly remembers to assign chapter thirteen to his students for tonight's homework. As the teacher talks to another student, Sean walks over and pushes Alex back into his desk. He's not happy that Alex was snickering at him, and Alex tries to weasel his way out of a confrontation with Sean and his toady.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention Sean's sidekick. All the kid does is agree with Sean and repeat after him. In the book, he was an Indian kid (as in actually descended from people from the India) named Arjun Khosla, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Alex: "It's just you two look like, uh, pretty intelligent guys, and I'm surprised you believe in somethings as stupid as werewolves."

Sean: "It's not stupid, man, it's true."

Oh, come on, Sean. Put a little more passion into it. You should sound at least as passionate as the kid I knew in elementary school who swore up and down that Maximilian Pegasus was a real person.

Sean: "And we can prove it. If you're brave enough."

Toady: "Yeah. Brave enough."

Alex: "How?"

Sean: "Out behind the Marlings' house, there's a fallen tree that goes right across Wolf Creek."

"The town, or the creek?"

Sean: "You know where that is?"

"The town, or the creek?"

Sean: "That's where the werewolves go to drink water out of the river."

They're very particular.

Sean: "Meet us there at midnight tonight. You'll get your proof. Unless you're a chicken."

Hey, I've read "Chicken, Chicken." You shouldn't joke about that sort of thing.

Sidekick: "Yeah, chicken. Cluck, cluck, cluck."

Sean: "Zip it, Arjun."

Wait, "Arjun"? Arjun Khosla?

That pale Seth Green-in-It-lookin'-kid is Arjun Khosla?

So.. let's take inventory.

• These werewolves are very loosely based on Native American legends.
• R.L. Stine added an Indian character... but not in the sense of "Native American."
• Sean is played by a kid who I'm assuming is of Native American descent, judging by IMDb.
• The Indian character is played by a very pale kid named Brad Machry.

There is some odd casting going on here. The last time I saw casting like this....

Obvious punchline is obvious.

Anyway, Alex wonders if he might be able to get a picture on tonight's adventure, and he leaves the classroom, revealing that Hannah has been sitting behind him the whole time, clutching her schoolbooks like she was on the cover of a 90s coming-of-age novel for girls.

I think they made us read that in school.

We cut to sometime later at a bridge, where Hannah spooks Alex by showing up between cuts.

Alex: "Why does everyone around here do that?"

Hannah: "I heard what Sean and Arjun said to you... about tonight. You're not gonna go, are you?"

Alex: "Are you kidding? And have those guys think I'm chicken or something? No way."

You realize, of course, Alex, that you're only staying in this town for as long as your parents are in London? In a month or so, they'll forget all about you.

....The kids, I mean, not your parents.

Hannah: "But, Alex, it's in the woods, after dark. I told you before, it's not safe."

But Alex insists that everything will be fine. After all, he'll be there with two kids he barely knows who act antagonistically toward him. Everything will be fine!

Alex: "And besides, if something does come after us, it'll go for Sean first.. He's big. He's a better meal."

I like the cut of this kid's jib.

Alex: "Nothing's gonna happen. My aunt and uncle are going out on another shoot tonight. I'll wait until they're gone, meet up with Beavis and Butt-Head, take a couple of pictures, and be back before any werewolves even know I'm there."

Sick '90s burn, Alex.

Hannah asks him one final time to just stay home before disappearing.

Alex: "Man, these people are weird."

But it gets weirder. When Alex's alarm goes off at about 11:30, he gets out of bed, grabs his camera, and finds the door to his bedroom locked. And the windows are barred, meaning that Colin utilizes the methods taught at the Vernon Dursley School of Uncle-ology and Uncle-onomy.

Undeterred, Alex snaps some pictures of the Marlings' house, and notices some furry things exiting out-tru-der window.

Alex: "I've been in Wolf Creek too long. I'm starting to see things, too."

But it's very hard for hallucinations to break glass, meaning that the werewolves that climb up the house and start trying to crawl through the rubber metal bars outside window are probably real.

Probably.

To be continued!

Coming up in Part 2, werewolves show some skin!