Just like "The Haunted Mask," if you take away the supernatural elements, you've got a recipe for drama. |
Casey: "That plant tried to choke me!"
INSERT LAME CHOKE WEED PUN HERE.
Dr. Brewer: "You shouldn't have been near the
window."
Margaret: "Well, Casey heard a fight in the
basement."
Dr. Brewer: "There was no fight."
The kids find Dr. Brewer's firm insistence to be less than
convincing. Especially since he also claims that Dr. Marek suddenly left with
nobody seeing him. Things are understandably awkward as Dr. Brewer tries to
determine if his kids are spying on him.
Casey: "You're not a mad scientist, are you, dad?"
Dr. Brewer: "No, I'm an angry scientist."
Too late! I already made that joke in the first part.
Yeah, well...
"Or you could argue that, since this episode aired twenty years ago, the episode made the joke before you did." |
Dr. Brewer sends both his kids to their rooms, thus winning
the conversation by default. His work in the basement continues, and it
apparently involves syringes and some unseen guy in a closet, presumably bound
and gagged.
So that night, it starts storming, meaning that there's a
suitably spooky atmosphere for Margaret to make another discovery about her
dad. She heads into the hallway, finding both Casey and some odd noises. The
two are unrelated, since the odd noises are coming from the power drill that
Dr. Brewer is using to put a lock on the basement door. He tells his kids that
he's done the same with the basement windows, so there's absolutely no way they
can get in while he's gone.
Margaret decides to call their mom after Dr. Brewer leaves,
but finds that the scrap of paper with Aunt Eleanor's number on it mysteriously
missing. Three guesses who took it.
All things considered, Margaret isn't doing too well. Her
dad's behavior has left her erratic and scared. Casey, on the other hand, is
making the most of his dad's absence by going to town on a jar of peanut
butter.
Kid's got priorities. I can respect that. |
The place is an absolute wreck, though, so Margaret can't
find anything anywhere. Not even in the plant in the corner.
Which I think we can all agree is the logical place to look for a scrap of paper. |
But suddenly, Dr. Brewer returns home, having forgotten
something. In her haste to stay out of her dad's bedroom, Margaret accidentally
knocks over the answering machine. With no time to escape after she sets it
back up, Margaret hides under her dad's bed while Casey stalls him in the
hallway.
Dr. Brewer: "What are you doing out of your room?"
Casey: "Uh, I needed to go to the... bath...
room."
Nailed it.
Dr. Brewer: "Where's Margaret?"
Casey: "She's in her room."
"I see no reason to go inside her room to verify that." |
Hey, that's the one from the spaghetti scene! |
Mere inches away from worms, evidence of some sort of crime, and being discovered, the moments that pass are fraught with tension. One
mistake and the game's up. If Margaret believes in a higher power, you bet your
butt that she's asking for a little help.
"Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret." |
Dr. Brewer: "I'll be back in an hour."
Casey: "Okay, Dad."
Dr. Brewer: "Stay in your room while-"
Casey: "Yes, Dad."
Dr. Brewer: "You too, Margaret."
"Whoops." |
Worms in a bed. Not something I'd expect to become a recurring motif, and yet here we are. |
Sure, he tried to feed his kids foul green muck, but plenty of dads are terrible cooks. And a lot of guys like to switch up their hairstyle every now and a gain. Dr. Brewer's just letting his leaves grow out a bit. And I wouldn't be surprised at all if he left the toilet seat up when he was done washing green gunk out of his wound.
But Mrs. Brewer has been gone for, what, a day or two? And the bed is already this messy? Not even the biggest slob is going to accomplish much more than getting drink stains and food crumbs on the sheets at this point. And since all the revenge-seeking annelids are busy dealing with a kid named Todd, we have to assume that these worms didn't crawl in all by themselves.
The worms are the last straw for Margaret. She wants the truth, she wants it now, and she knows exactly where to find it: the basement. They grab a wrench and some weed killer from the garage to protect themselves before getting past the lock on the basement door. It's quite a sturdy lock, too. Too bad the screws keeping the lock on the door aren't.
Fun fact: This is how actual burglars manage to get past actual locks like this. |
They find a green, leafy hand among the other horrors. But
none as horrific as the plant that tasted Margaret's blood, which now seems to
be growing a human face.
Speaking of human faces, they find another one in a nearby
closet. But this one seems to be attached to the rest of a human, too. A human
that looks suspiciously like their dad. Margaret wants to untie the bound
figure, but Casey points out that their dad left the house. So obviously, this
can't be him. Plus he's got leaves growing out of his head, just like their
real dad does, meaning that this probably... isn't... him? Hm. Some flaws in
Casey's logic here.
The two manage to reach a compromise as Margaret decides to
ungag this mysterious doppelgänger to hear him out. For simplicity's sake, I'll
be referring to this Dr. Brewer as Basement Dad and the one that left the house
as Grumpy Dad.
Basement Dad claims to be the real Dr. Brewer, having been
locked up in the closet for days by Grumpy Dad, who's really an evil plant
clone who's been masquerading as their dad.
Basement Dad: "I have no time to explain. Just untie
me. Quick."
Of course, the problem here is that an evil plant clone
would also claim to be the real Dr. Brewer, so there's really no easy way to
verify Basement Dad's claims. But Margaret unties him anyway. Once free,
Basement Dad gets a wild look in his eye and grabs a crowbar. Not because he
wants to murder his children, but because he wants to murder Grumpy Dad, who
just showed up.
Each one accuses the other of being the evil plant clone.
Basement Dad angrily shouts at his doppelgänger, whereas Grumpy Dad has the
calm demeanor of a sociopath as he tells his daughter to kill Basement Dad with
the weed killer.
You'd think that the weed killer would only work on the
plant copy and not the real Dr. Brewer, but the real Dr. Brewer's had some odd
things happen to his DNA. Maybe weed killer will kill him. I don't know. All I do know is that Margaret is panicking, trying to
determine which one to murder.
But Basement Dad makes one last impassioned
plea.
It'd be much easier if one of them always lied and the other always told the truth. |
Basement Dad: "Please... Princess."
And with that, Margaret sprays the other one.
Margaret: "There's only one person who calls me
Princess. My real dad."
Things quickly get back to normal after that. The plants get
shipped to the university, and Dr. Marek invites Dr. Brewer back to the
university on the behalf of the board. Dr. Brewer, quite understandably, wants
to take some time off to let his hair grow back, since he shaved off the leaves.
And he probably wants to spend some time with the kids, too.
Margaret: "I still don't understand how the whole thing
started."
Dr. Brewer: "Well, it was an accident. I cut my hand on
a slide and some of my blood mixed in with some plant molecules. And I ended up
with something that was part plant and part human."
Which, as plant-based origins go, is probably the lamest one
I've ever seen. Poison Ivy, Swamp Thing, Man-Thing... even the Floronic Man has
a more interesting origin than that.
Mrs. Brewer: "You never told me any of this."
What's with the big smile on her face? Her husband just told
her the story of how he ended up replacing himself with a crazy plant clone.
Has she been smoking the stuff her husband's been growing? |
Margaret: "Except that it was evil."
Dr. Brewer: "Well, to us, yes. But like most organisms,
it wanted to dominate its environment."
What? Most organisms don't want to "dominate"
their environment. Heck, plants don't "want" anything. And most
animals simply care about eating, sleeping, and mating.
I'm just saying, I don't think the bird tweeting outside my
window right now is looking out over my yard with dreams of conquering this
territory and reshaping it according to its avian will. It just wants to build
its nest and tweet at any other birds to keep them away.
Dr. Brewer: "It overpowered me. And I think that it
wanted to make plant copies of us all."
Wow. That's heavy. I mean, this family just narrowly avoided
dying and being replaced with doppelgängers.
Mrs. Brewer: "When Aunt Eleanor was getting better, she
asked me about you two. I said you were both growing like weeds. I never
realized how close to the truth I almost was."
...What is wrong with you, lady?
Dr. Marek takes off with the plants, so Papa Brewer offers
to make his family a nice, healthy, salad lunch.
Dr. Brewer: "No, I'm only kidding; I got hamburgers for
everybody!"
And so, everybody runs off to go prepare lunch, except for
Margaret. She stops to tie her shoe, only for a nearby flower to talk to her in
her dad's voice.
Flower: "Psst! Margaret! Margaret, help me. Please help
me. I'm your father."
This was actually a fairly good twist in the book, since it
cast the happy ending into doubt and just left it like that. But here, the
flower is joined by a bunch of other flowers claiming the same thing, meaning
that it's more likely that none of these flowers are the real Dr. Brewer. And
by speaking up, they've probably earned themselves a healthy dose of weed
killer.
So... not much of a twist ending, all things considered.
Either way, let's review.
Either way, let's review.
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