Saturday, April 30, 2016

Recap: Teen Titans Go! "Driver's Ed"

Today, the descent of Teen Titans Go! into slice-of-life stories continues as we go from last episode's money troubles to this episode's car troubles.

Not a single supervillain to be seen, though. Which makes a grand total of one so far.
The episode begins on a Monday. Nothing much seems to be going on at the moment, so Beast Boy has a little time to play video games. And it seems as though he’s gotten to the final boss. As he whittles down the health bar of the gigantic brain, Robin bursts into the room.

Robin: "Beast Boy! Emergency; no time to explain!"

Which, funnily enough, is a video game in and of itself.
The two heroes leap into action and get in the car. Apparently, this game has no pause function, because Beast Boy just leaves it running while they drive away and gets a game over.

As Beast Boy drives the T-Car to their destination, he asks what the emergency is.

Robin: "Got a monster to deal with... A monster case of the munchies!"

That's right, Robin's just hungry and needed someone to drive him to the nearest BurgerSplode.

“Welcome to BurgerSplode. We have one burger ten times.”

Cyborg is backing up his internal hard drive. And like most backups, it's taking forever.

"Never should have let them talk me into upgrading to Windows 10."
Robin: "Cyborg! Emergency, no time to explain!"

Robin rips Cyborg away from his hardware, losing the data. Hopefully, nothing important was lost....

This time, Robin needed a ride to the Game Bear, because he wanted to buy the latest game.

All I'm wondering is whether it's a Dog Island or Nintendogs ripoff.

Starfire is picking yellow berries off of some kind of tentacle plant thing while also trying to keep her pet Silkie from eating any.

Robin: "Starfire! Emergency!"

And Silkie ends up eating the berries as the two Titans zoom off. Unlike the zorkaberries from the original Teen Titans cartoon, these do not make Silkie grow into a gigantic monster. Although they do cause a fierce allergic reaction.

I've got an aunt who reacts that badly to... well, most foods.
This time, Robin's going to a DJ Aqualad performance. And he also needs to be picked up in an hour.


Raven is in her room, forcing an inter-dimensional demon back through the portal from whence it came. And, you guessed it, Robin bursts in through the ceiling and absconds with Raven, allowing the demon to roam free on the mortal plane. All so Robin can hit the beach.


The demon makes a meal out of the seagull ever-perched outside of Titans Tower as Robin bursts into the tower's living room, yelling his usual frantic warnings about some kind of emergency. This time, however, everyone is wise to his tricks and they don't respond.

Raven: "So what's the big emergency, Robin?"
Robin: "Everything's half off at the dollar store!"

That's actually a good deal, as long as it's one of those dollar store that actually sells things for a dollar. What is the point of a dollar store when they sell stuff for 2, 5, or even 10 dollars? You know what that's called? A store.

Cyborg finally gives Robin a piece of his mind over that interruption earlier this week for similar crap.

Cyborg: "You're lucky I didn't lose any important data!"
Starfire: "I must agree with Cyborg. It is most irritating."
Cyborg: "Thank you."

But he quickly runs a scan on Starfire and asks Beast Boy an important question before momentarily shorting out.

Cyborg: "Who's that orange girl?"

Beast Boy, however, is still on the topic of Robin. He asks why Robin can't just drive himself, and Robin reveals that his license was suspended after a little "fender bender" with the Batmobile.

Distracted by the pain of having laid an egg, he lost a wheel and the Joker got away.
And everyone has a good laugh over this.

That pretty much sums up the core of the show, actually.
Robin says he found a guy online who can help him get his license back, which Raven thinks sounds pretty sketchy. But Robin insists that the test will be child's play for such a...

And so, Robin meets at the address given, finding an empty Driver's Ed car with a note on it that says "GET IN, START ENGINE." He does, and changes the radio station to some hip hop while he waits.

I can only hope he starts getting jiggy with it right in the car.
Nearby, a bespectacled man runs out of a bank with a bag of money, throws it in the trunk of the Driver's Ed car, and pulls out a clipboard before getting in the passenger's seat.

And now we know what he was doing instead of keep his hands on the Batmobile's steering wheel.
The robber watches Robin continue to break it down for a bit before turning off the music.

Instructor: "My name is Ed. I'll be your driving instructor."
Robin: "Ed? As in... 'Driver's Ed'?"

Like nobody's ever made that joke before. Actually, since Ed's a bank robber instead of an actual driver's ed instructor, maybe nobody has.

Ed explains that Robin starts off with full marks. Every time he makes a mistake, he gets a deduction. Robin tries to figure out what that vaguely-alarm-sounding noise is, but Ed gets right down to business and tells Robin to pull out into traffic.

Robin: "But what about..."
Ed: "Aaaand that's a deduction."

As Robin pulls out, he looks behind him to see if he can find the source of some gunshot-like noises.

Ed: "Eyes front."
Robin: "Sorry."
Ed: "That's a deduction."

Ed makes a bunch of deductions as he instructs Robin through a chase scene. Robin complies with every single one, including the instruction to take a hard right turn off a cliff into the water to evade the cops.
In the end, though, Robin had too many deductions. Once back at the tower, Raven and the others get a god laugh out of this.

Cyborg: "Master Driver, huh?"
Starfire: "Laughing at your shortcomings makes us all feel better about ourselves. It is okay, Robin. A lot of people fail the test of driving."
Cyborg: "Will someone please tell me who that strange woman is?"

Robin explains that it's not his driving skills that are the problem; it's his test-taking skills. To illustrate this, we cut to Robin taking a vision test. And getting every letter on the chart wrong. Even the huge "E" at the top.

Robin: "L, R, alligator, and blurry spot."

Yeesh. I'd wear a mask, too.
But Robin's not too upset; he's allowed to keep retaking the test until he passes. And he knows he will, being a...

...and all.

Once done posing, he heads off to take the test again, helping Ed elude the cops after robbing a pawn shop. Ed seems to be criticizing everything at this point, including the music on the radio and the pitiful amount of time the car was airborne after jumping the barriers the police set up. And then he makes a few deductions when Robin drives through a store.

Ed: "I asked you to turn down the cereal aisle."

It's getting ridiculous at this point.

After chase in the store with some not-quite-"Yakety Sax" playing, Robin fails again. And he keeps on failing after Ed's heists of the casino, money factory, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Because why the heck not.
Sometime later, the other Titans all meet for coffee at Justice Java while the demon continues to roam free in the sewers. As Cyborg tries to figure out who the heck Starfire is, the others notice Robin's car. More specifically, that Ed just robbed the diamond exchange before hopping in it.

Starfire: "Surely Robin is not aware he is aiding and abetting a criminal."
Cyborg: "Well, that's why we've gotta warn him! Whoever you are."

And after Cyborg glitches out again, the others all pile in their car and chase after Robin, honking the horn to get his attention. Robin assumes that they're all there to laugh at him, so he ditches Ed's instructions and decides to just wing it.

The ensuing chase uses all of Robin's skills, and even a few gadgets. He uses his grapnel to make turns, drives up buildings like the Batmobile in Batman Forever, and even takes the car into space for a bit before landing on a rainbow and taking it to the ground. Thanks to the leprechaun breaking the fall, Robin's car is a-ok, but the Titans' car is sort of demolished. And so, with the climax over, the wrap up for the episode begins. A tire drops onto Cyborg's head....

Cyborg: "Hey, when did Starfire get here?"

And Robin passes his test. But only because Ed never wants him as a getaway driver ever again.

Ed: "I was using you the whole time and you couldn't see it!"
Robin: "Nope. I knew. That's why I'm not warning you about the demon."

In the depths of Hell, he shall be subject to experiences beyond the imaginings of mortals for all eternity.
His skin shall be removed from his body and used to restrain him to burning stones.
His teeth shall be removed one by one and crafted into instruments of his own pain.
He shall have each of his organs removed, except for his eyes, which will be held open to behold his own horror.
He shall slowly, painfully regenerate every night, only for the next day to begin the process over again.
That's what he gets for theft, I guess.
Having just let a petty criminal be damned, Robin declares himself a...

...and with one final pose, the episode stops. Now let's review.

No comments:

Post a Comment