Saturday, September 12, 2015

Recap/Review: Gotham Girls "Baby Boom"

The last time I recapped a story involving wax figures, they came to life and wreaked all sorts of havoc. This time, they’re just… there. Being wax statues. And all things considered, they don’t have much to do with the actual plot.

So if you wanted a story about magic wax figures on the loose, then you’re going to want to check out Gravity Falls. But if you want to see an exciting heist… well, you should probably watch Ocean’s Eleven. Either way, I’m stuck here covering Gotham Girls, and you’re welcome to join me.

Please don't leave me alone with this show....
The pre-load game is the same one as last time. So if you loved hearing Batgirl’s horrific death rattle and wanted more of it, you’re in luck!

You sick creep.
We open up on the Gotham wax museum practically begging to be robbed.

I mean, really. What did they expect was going to happen?
And so, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are there to answer the call. Instead of sneaking in or breaking in, Harley and Ivy simply buy tickets to go inside.

That guy is so fired.
Harley Quinn: “Say, Red. Don’tcha think we kinda stand out dressed like this?”
Poison Ivy: “Not at all, Harl. Lots of people come to the wax museum as their favorite celebrities.”

You know, it’d be one thing if this were, say, the San Diego Comic Con. But when you’ve got the crown jewels on display in the wretched hive of scum and villainy known as Gotham City, then perhaps a modicum of security would be warranted. I mean, we live in a world without supervillains, and they still made me take off my mask when I dressed up to go see Watchmen in IMAX. So really, any single one of these dressed-up individuals could be planning to rob the place.

Except for good ol' Honest Abe, of course.
Once the ladies are inside the place, Ivy goes over the plan for Harley. She’ll use her special pollen to take out the guards and Harley will steal the jewels. Harley, being one of the dimmer bulbs out there, asks what the pollen does. I’ll admit, it’s a legitimate question. But she cements her low-watt status by snorting a big ol’ load of it. Ivy explains that the chemicals in the pollen have a “rejuvenation formula” that will temporarily de-age the guards. As she says this, Ivy turns into a baby. And her outfit shrinks too, for some reason.

And some of her teeth disappear.
The box of pollen gets misplaced during the sudden shrinkage, but the rather polite security guards return it while Harley wanders off. While she wanders around the place, there’s a series of interactive portions which are among the most pointless inclusions in this entire series. Here’s what happens. Harley wanders up to a wax statue. You have the option whether or not to look at it. Zatanna, Lobo, Superman.

But no wax Riddler, sadly.
Either wax Riddler.
Rinse and repeat. I get that there’s an obligation to have interactivity, but this is an almost pointless inclusion. Just show the darn statues, already!

Note to self: Find a legal way to find the old Lobo webisodes to Recap.
Anyway, Harley eventually wanders over to the statue of the princess as Ivy continues to ask people if they’ve seen her baby. Harley steals the necklace and continues to wander around until she sees a statue she really likes.

Baby Harley: “Puddin’? Puddin’!”

That's right, Gotham, make a wax statue of the worst mass murderer in America who's still at large.
 When it doesn’t respond to her, she throws a tantrum and knocks the statue to pieces, getting Ivy’s attention. Ivy walks over, telling Harley that she’s been naughty, and picks her up.

How does Ivy explain this to the other women in such a way that they don’t question the fact that a dead ringer for a known supervillain is nabbing a baby wearing the crown jewels?

Poison Ivy: “Father issues.”

So… is she trying to pass Harley off as the Joker’s daughter? She looks nothing like Duela Dent.

Ivy takes Harley to the car and they drive away, after Ivy puts a plant-matter car seat in the front of the car exactly how you’re not supposed to.

Ivy, you're a terrible caretaker.
And so, the webisode ends.

Eh, it’s cute and harmless. Nothing special. It’s better than the first season, but really nothing to write home about. The wax cameos were really the highlight, but that’s still not saying much.

Also, I found this face to be pretty amusing.
Next time, it’s time for a game of cat and mouse. And cat. And mouse. And cat. See you then!


  1. Wax statues are at least better then kids dressing as criminals, like they did in Halloween episode of The Batman.

    1. Yeah, that was really messed up. What parent lets their kid go trick-or-treating as a mass-murdering sociopath?