I write some of these Recaps/Reviews out of order. And I don't just mean my little habit of doing an individual episode of a series, then starting over from the beginning. Sometimes, I put off the really crappy episodes until the week before I post the Recap. Sometimes I marathon several good episodes at once. This time, I need to repair my soul.
My Recap/Review of "Avengers: Impossible" was a while back for you. But for me? It was only fifteen minutes ago. Having been unable to secure a nuke to wreak justice on this episode (Why aren't you returning my calls, Obama?), I have decided to instead recap and review one of my favorite episodes of this series.
Shockingly enough, it's a Hulk-centered episode.
I swear, I'm not crazy. Or drunk. This is actually a great episode. Here, let me prove it to you.
|It will all make sense.|
|I just realized that Hawkeye looks a bit like Alton Brown. How appropriate that there's a fridge camera.|
Turns out, the object is the Hulk, apparently pretending to be a meteor. Hawkeye cushions Hulk's fall with the jet, but there's a side effect to the impact.
Hulk: "Can't remember anything except... world's gonna end."
Now that's an intro. Roll titles.
Back at the tower, Falcon looks over the oddly-angular imprint on Hulk's face, and the other Avengers wonder what could have possibly hit Hulk hard enough to manage this.
Captain America: "Nothing. That's a very scary thought."
Iron Man holograms in, and they update him on the situation whiles he saves a Japanese oil tanker from sinking. Apparently, some weird weather's been going on. Where's Thor when you need him? Wait, where is Thor? Hmm....
Anyway, the team checks Hulk's room. Hulk remembers that he doesn't like anyone touching his glass figurines, Hawkeye ("Joke-Man") isn't funny, and that's about it.
Hawkeye: "Progress. Except I'm hilarious."
Cap suggests they retrace Hulk's steps, and Hulk's stomach gets all oogy. They find a receipt in his pocket, and head off to Yancy Street, where they find the ever lovin' blue-eyed Thing as well as a burning bowling alley. Thing unleashes his fists upon the very confused Hulk.
Hulk: "Don't hit me, rock face! I have a head injury! And maybe a temper!"
Cap hits them both a few times with his shield, and asks the Thing just what's going on as the weather worsens. Apparently, Thing and Hulk bowl here every week. This week, they got into a disagreement over whether or not Thing stepped over the line.
|The Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Rules Lawyer.|
I love how casual he sounds while describing this. Apparently, they busted a gas main, and the place went up. Thing claims it's the end of the world because there's nowhere else with size 47 bowling shoes.
Mission accomplished. Right? Wrong. The storms are getting worse and worse, even beginning to affect the tides. Hmmmmmmmm...
Thing says that Hulk took off with some "web-head." That's right, it's Spider-Man cameo time! He's running a hot dog stand. Apparently, Spider-Man took Hulk out for hot dogs, and the Hulk just dined and dashed. Spidey's here working off the cost of Hulk's lunch. Because the universe hates Spider-Man.
|"Last time I ate one of these, I turned into a pig."|
There's a gigantic rainbow in the sky, and Hulk gleefully jumps into it with the Avengers following in the jet. As it turns out, the rainbow's a portal to another dimension. After a rough landing, they end up outside the cosmic halls of this angelic-looking guy named Glorian.
Captain America: "A very powerful, very respected, interdimensional craftsman. There's a file on him in Avengers Tower. You guys don't read the files?"
Hawkeye: "We gotta get you a hobby, Cap."
Captain America: "Reading files is my hobby."
As it turns out, Glorian and the Hulk are best friends. Glorian's the greatest creator in history, and Hulk's the greatest destroyer. They admire each other's craft. Okay, that's actually a stroke of genius. Kudos, writers. Honestly, I adore this plot point.
|I also find the fact that he's doing the Galaxy Quest salute hilarious.|
Iron Man contacts the team, and tells them to come back to the tower, and they do. The storms are worse than ever. Tony scans the worm tentacle that Hulk brought back and finds some lunar dust. Getting an idea, he takes a holographic print of Hulk's bruise, inverts it, and it turns out to be a exact match for Thor's hammer.
|This is almost like how forensics works.|
Hawkeye: "Well, if you're gonna hit the Hulk, you don't want him to remember it."
So Iron Man fills in the next part of Hulk's day. He and Thor had been in Tony's lab arguing about who was stronger, and Iron Man snapped at them to take it to the moon. So they did. Something's now wrong with the moon, and Hulk remembers what it is. Apparently, it's Cthulhu, and Thor's still fighting it.
|A "Badun-Cylek," to be pedantic.|
Thor reveals to Hulk that the hammer to the face was actually the Hulk's idea. He needed a boost to get back to Earth and warn the others, so he had Thor hit him there. Hulk spots the figurine he got from Glorian being eaten by the monster, so he rips it apart from the inside out and throws it into space where it no doubt dies of its injuries. Hooray for senseless violence!
Hulk: "I know who I am! I'm the Hulk!"
But you know... I find this scene absolutely hilarious, looking back on it. When this episode first aired a long while back, I thought nothing of it, but hindsight can be hilarious.
|"Listen, there are moments in every civilisation’s history in which the
whole path of that civilisation is decided. |
The whole future path. Whatever future humanity might...."
|Well. Hulk's a Brony. Fly on, Twilight Sparkle!|