Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Recap: Avengers Assemble "Super Adaptoid"

Today we return to Avengers Assemble to see what exactly happens when all the Avengers are assembled into a villain.

Not, like, Frankensetin-style. It's not Halloween just yet.
The episode begins with Iron Man chasing Captain America through a city while shooting at him with his repulsors. Obviously, this is a training exercise, so I'll just let you know that Iron Man wins. Interestingly enough, this wasn't even a training mission. It was a hologram of a simulated battle. Cap compliments the graphics, but says that there's no replacement for actually knowing how to fight without technology, despite Tony's offer of an Iron Cap suit.

Tony: "Just say it. Say, 'Tony, I'm afraid of new tech!' Admitting you have a problem's always the first step."

Sneaking a reference in about Tony's former alcoholism? Nice.

Captain America: "Gosh, Mr. Big Brain! Your modern tech is so gol-darn confusing! How does this contraption turn water into coffee? Is it coal power or is it... a miracle?"

Okay, that was actually really funny. Can we please make "Sarcastic Captain America" a meme, internet?

Here's a picture to caption. Go nuts, internet.
But as they argue over the merits of skill vs. tools, JARVIS alerts them to a broadcast from HAMMER Industries on Tony's magic picture box. Apparently, Justin Hammer, one of the Iron Man 2 villains (imagine if Tony Stark was an evil doofus) has released a commercial that both promotes his own products and challenges the Avengers to a challenge of some kind.

Hello, guy getting paid to impersonate Sam Rockwell. You're doing a good job.
The Avengers go to investigate because it's a bad idea to let a guy like Justin Hammer have anything dangerous.

Captain America: "And he called you out on TV." 
Iron Man: "And that."

The Avengers exit the Avenjet and decline Hammer's offer of mango iced tea. Suddenly, Iron Man gets knocked into the desert by a robot.

Hammer: "Meet the Super-Adaptoid, super hero of the future. It's time to put your metal where your mouth is, Iron Man."

After the titles, the Adaptoid quickly gets its butt kicked by all the Avengers, but not before it manages to scan them all with its sensors. The Avengers have had enough and leave, but not before Hulk takes Hammer's iced tea.

Hulk: "The next time you build something to attack us with... don't."

Hammer impotently yells that he's suing all of them, but they ignore him. But Cap still harbors some doubts.

Cap: "It's never that easy...."

As the Avengers fly away, Hammer's scowl quickly turns into a grin as his robot shapeshifts and reforms itself.

Hammer: "Ready for Phase Two."

"Letting the Avengers prepare for my upcoming assault. This was a good plan."
As they fly back to New York, everyone's thoughts drift to other things, except for Cap, who asks for the data that Tony accumulated on the Adaptoid during the battle.

Captain America: "Don't you think it's strange to spend billions on a robot just to let us crush it? Hammer can't be a complete idiot." 
Tony: "Hammer is a complete idiot. Really. He's just a geek with armor envy."

Cap gets the data anyway and begins to go over it.

Tony: "If any of the math looks complicated, that's because it is."

A quick glance at the screen shows nothing but random equations. Like "A = Pi r2." Which is basic geometry.

Back at base, Cap finally figures out how to work his tablet computer with help from Falcon (in his defense, it's joystick operated, of all things), and they make a discovery.

Falcon: "Those are undifferentiated microclusters. Tiny machines-" 
Captain America: "That can be repurposed in response to new programming."


Captain America: "Futura. Never miss an issue."

Oh. All right, then. ...I guess.

Suddenly, BOOM.

The Super-Adaptoid, now boasting repulsor gauntlets, Falcon's wings, and Thor-ish armor plates has come to finish the job. And it wouldn't be complete without the Adaptoid's face broadcasting footage of Hammer.

"Plausible deniability? What's that?"
Using unibeams and copies of Cap's shield, he makes quick work of Thor and Hulk and focuses his efforts on Tony. Tony quickly jumps into action, but gets smacked back down.

Hammer-oid: "I feel like causing trouble. You feel like stopping me?"

A good chunk of the episode is then spent expositing that the Adaptoid can shapeshift, and then seeing it for ourselves. The Avengers fight the Adaptoid for a good while, while Cap tries to tell the others that they need to try something new. Anything they throw at the Super-Adaptoid simply gets returned.

It even returns high-fives, apparently.
Adaptoid grabs Iron Man and flies off with him, before Cap knocks a hoverbike into him. This lets Tony escape, but the fight continues. Cap ends up leading Adaptoid into Avengers Tower, while Hammer connects the Red Skull into the Adaptoid's sensors so he can watch.

But Cap manages to launch the tower's Avenjet with himself and the Adaptoid inside of it. Unfortunately, as Iron Man points out, there's a big hole in the jet and they're headed into space. But thanks to a little bit of that old Captain America ingenuity, he manages to booby trap his shield, find an Iron Man helmet, and deliver a beatdown. Because while the Adaptoid may have copied all of the Avenger's tricks, Cap knows how to counter those same tricks. He knocks the Adaptoid out into space where it gets smashed by Thor and crashes to the ground before he gets rescued by Iron Man.

The fact that Iron Man leaves his old stuff everywhere was integral to the plan.
Later, at Red Skull's sub, he declines Hammers request to join the Cabal, but also tells MODOK to begin fixing the Super-Adaptoid for their own purposes.

Back at Avengers Tower, Cap gives Tony a Starkpad filled with his strategies.

Tony: "Hold on. I wanna take notes."

And the lesson of not over-relying on technology has been learned for the first time. Repetitions of the lesson to come ad nauseum.

Well, let's review. And it's about time that I gave a few things a piece of my mind! But to be fair, I do that for every episode.


  1. "Apparently, Justin Hammer, one of the Iron Man 2 villains (imagine if Tony Stark was an evil doofus)"

    NEWT! Imma gonna let you finish, but the plot for Captain America is gonna be Civil War. you won't have to imagine it, RDJ's gonna act it for you.

    1. I think it could be both a powerful and HILARIOUS moment if Tony has a moment of reflection in the Civil War adaptation...
      Tony: "My God, I've turned into Justin Hammer."