Saturday, May 24, 2014

Recap: Avengers EMH (Micro-Episode 19) "Beware the Widow's Bite"

Much like the previous compilation of Micro-Episodes, the baton of protagonism has been passed. This time, Hawkeye grabbed it. But Black Widow got the title.

She bites, apparently.
The Cube. Late at night.

Hawkeye leaves his meeting with Banner, only to see the Black Widow swipe a card and go into a room, filled with all sorts of SCIENCE. She swipes a sample of Hulk’s blood and exits. Well, that sure got Hawkeye’s curiosity all up in a dander, so he uses the computer in the aircraft outside to look into Black Widow’s files.

Computer: “Password Required.”
Hawkeye: “…spider.”

Jeez, Hawkeye. Haven’t you played Marvel: Ultimate Alliance? It’s "Gabe Jones"!

Computer: “Access Denied.”
Hawkeye: “Sting.”
Computer: “Access Denied.”

Of course it wasn’t Sting. Spiders hate Sting, whether it be the sword or the singer. Don’t ask me to explain the latter; I’m not a biologist.

Hawkeye: “Venom.”
Computer: “Access Denied.”

Wrong show, there, Clint.

Hawkeye: “Web.”
Computer: “Access Denied.”

Wow, this is more tries before I get locked out of my own computer.

Hawkeye: “Hourglass.”
Computer: “Access Denied.”
Hawkeye: “Clint?”
Computer: “Access Denied.”

Nice try, buddy. E for effort.

Hawkeye: Come on, you stupid piece o’ junk, I just…”
Computer: “Access Denied.”

Okay, that was funny.

Hawkeye: “…Red Room.”
Computer: “Access Granted.”

Yeah, no one but comic nerds are going to get that reference, show. Thanks for it, though.

Anyway, he finds the most recent report, and a hologram of the Widow pops up, and she delivers a double agent report. “They suspect nothing,” “according to plan,” etc. As it turns out, Black Widow’s not under any orders from Nick Fury. She was sent to capture the Hulk and get a blood sample for… HYDRA.
"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Meanwhile, Black Widow drives off into the desert to the rendezvous, followed by Hawkeye on his sky-cycle. Widow arrives at the drop off point, only to be ambushed by Hawkeye, who demands answers. He wants to know why he betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D., so she turns the question on him and demands to know why he betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D.

What, Hawkeye betray S.H.I.E.L.D.? Like that would ever....

Oh. Right.
Before you can say “Whah-hunh?” she loses her Russian accent and accuses Hawkeye of being in league with HYDRA. She takes out the two HYDRA goons present and declares Hawkeye to be a double agent to the hidden S.H.I.E.L.D. squad. After a kerfuffle, Black Widow takes out Hawkeye and orders the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to put him in solitary at “the Vault.”

The agents fly off with their new prisoner, and Black Widow stays behind to talk (complete with evil Russian accent) in her commlink to HYDRA, while examining her vial of Hulk blood.

Black Widow: “It worked. We’ll need to arrange a new drop. But, as far as S.H.I.E.L.D. is concerned, I just took down a traitorous double agent. Hail HYDRA.”

Speaking of, I have now seen Winter Soldier. You should, too.

Anyway, it ends… for now.

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