Review: Ultimate Spider-Man "Beetle Mania"

I'm not exactly a religious man, but I'd like to read from the Book of Parker, if I may.

And lo, in this episode, Mary Jane didst look upon the suffering of the Man of Spiders by J. Jonah, Son of James. Yea, didst she hear his words with barbs more pointed than the sharpest thistle, and lies as vast as the sea.

And so, approached the television's plug, she did. And with but a tug, deprived the device of electricity, so that the lies of J. Jonah, Son of James, would not be heard by the ears of the Man of Spiders or his disciples of the Sandwich.

Okay, I just wanted an excuse to use this picture out of context.

But in all honesty... this is the episode that should have shown us what makes her tick beyond "I want to be a journalist."

They wanted to add a new angle to Mary Jane's character, This episode, above all others, should have taken advantage of that by showing us why this goal drives her and how this meeting with JJJ affects her.

Instead, we are locked out of her head the whole time and we leave this episode with no more understanding of her character below the surface... possibly because Man of Action haven't put anything below the surface.

By now, the term "Mary Sue" gets thrown around so much that it loses all meaning and has simply started to mean "Female Character I Don't Like."

But... seriously, though, I think this version of Mary Jane might need to change the second part of her name. I'll explain why.

Plot
The set-up is classic Spider-Man; saving the one man who hates him more than anything. And on that front, the episode is done brilliantly. The rest of the Sandwich Club evens gets to take part in saving the day! On the other hand, MJ wastes her second chance at that Bugle internship.

Seriously, what was up with that? What could have possibly happened in that interview to warrant her 180 on the matter? Why did she work for this goal for 90% of the running time, only to sabotage herself in the last few minutes?

I have a theory....

"Alright, girlie. You want the internship? You'll have to earn it."

"Mr. Jameson, might I just say that it would be my honor and pleasure to..."

"And you can start by wearing a miniskirt 'round the office."

"...what?"

"Miniskirt. Standard dress code if you want to be my personal assistant, should this internship work out."

"'Personal assistant'?
It was my understanding that I'd be working my way up to... something having to do with reporting."

"Nope! Personal assistant. Must be a load off your mind, now.
I know how difficult journalism can be for you women. After all it is men's work."

"...I'm really starting to rethink this."

"You should be glad you've got those looks, Lil Missy. If you weren't such a fine piece of...."

"Yep. This interview's over."

"What, are you PMS-ing are something?"

"If you open your face again, you'll be sitting and spinning on something larger and sharper than this middle digit."

In other words, what women too often still have to endure in the real business world, sadly enough.

If this is the case, then I can't say I blame her for quitting before she even starts.

Themes
Oh, there's a few to be found. None that really tie the episode together as a whole, but you can glean a lesson or two.

"There are some fates that even major jerks don't deserve."

"Endangering people is bad. saving people is good."

And I guess, "Sometimes, you should postpone your dreams for other peoples' happiness."

I guess.

Setting aside my above theory on why MJ gave up on her goal for Spidey's sake... Seriously, why did MJ turn off that TV and end her interview? I mean, sure, JJJ was being a jerk to Spidey... but he's always going to do that. One moment of shutting him off isn't going to solve anything.

Why does she even want to work here if the boss's behavior toward Spider-Man (which she already knew about) made her that mad?

Flipping on JJJ should be a triumphant moment where we see the culmination of MJ's arc for this episode, where she cements herself as a decent person and true friend who refuses to put up with JJJ's crap, even if it means sabotaging her own goals.

In the end... she just kind of does it.

Let me run this plot by you.

What if Mary Jane was slightly conflicted from the start about the interview with JJJ? After all, she is risking her life for an internship.
She knows that it's dangerous. She knows that she'd be working for a man who slanders a hero. But in the end, this is the only path to her goal that she can see. So she goes forward 110% with her goals, despite the danger.

Then Peter shows up, worried for her safety.

And she's worried for his safety. So she asks him to leave. She's okay with risking her own life, but not the life of her friend.

So she gets to the top offices, and has her interview. But as it progress, she sees JJJ on that screen, putting his employees in danger by lying about his presence, and she realizes that by telling Peter to get to safety, she has demonstrated responsibility that JJJ lacks.

What kind of person is that to work for?

So in the end, despite nailing the interview, she gives up the position because what Jameson stands for is not what she stands for. MJ wants to be a journalist because she wants to make the world better. So maybe enabling a man making things worse isn't the way to do it.

Hey, wow, that was almost like a character arc, wasn't it?

Too bad that Man of Action's Marvel shows are about avoiding character arcs to make the show less confusing.

Characters
Beetle (Steve Blum)
Beetle is ruthless. Silent. Efficient. And only fails because Jameson was never in the Daily Bugle building.

Now this is a villain I approve of.

He gets a single line delivered by Steve Blum, who was probably only utilized because he was voicing Wolverine and Doc Samson in one of Spider-Man's fantasies. Honestly, I could have done without it. You know, preserve some of the mystique.

Still, it's nice to see a villain that actually has to be taken down with teamwork. That was nice to see from the Sandwich Club, instead of having them get pushed aside for Peter to save the day.

J. Jonah Jameson 
Oscar-winner J.K. Simmons is once again wasted.


Sam Raimi's Spider-Man films, where Simmons's portrayal of the character was well-received, did more than just rant about Spider-Man. Sure, he ranted about Spider-Man a lot, but there was more than constant "Spider-Man is a menace!"

Let me give you some examples.

J. Jonah Jameson: "I'll give you $150 for all of them."
Peter Parker: "$300."
J. Jonah Jameson: "That's outrageous! Done."

Peter Parker: "You don't trust anyone, that's your problem."
J. Jonah Jameson: "I trust my barber."

And let's not forget my favorite line in that first movie.

Peter Parker: "Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it. That's slander."
J. Jonah Jameson: "It is not! I resent that. ...Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel."

J.K. Simmons as Jameson has the potential to be hilarious. And finally, a character interacts with the old jerk one on one! And he... says nothing funny.

What we see of the interview is actually fairly realistic, if energetic, and he never does any of the character's trademark gruffness with anyone.

And even beyond that, the character's actions are enough to get the man arrested, or sued, or in some way punished. I mean, the man put an entire building in danger by saying "Come and get me" to somebody who could easily come and get him.

How the heck is he not in jail after this?

...Well, probably the same way he hasn't been jailed for all that slander. Not libel, because he rants on TV.

Speaking of rants... I've got a bit of one.

Mary Jane Watson
Let us ignore the fact that she's not Peter's love interest. In the long run, it doesn't matter one iota.

Mary Jane Watson is allowed to define herself, rather than simply having her be "Spider-Man's girlfriend."

Let her find her own purpose.

Simple question.

What is her purpose?

Well... the answer's a bit complicated.

First and foremost, let us ask ourselves what this entire show is about. Out of every single aspect of the show, what is the essence of the series? Superheroics. Not necessarily involving the Sandwich Club, but saving the day from the bad guys is given more than a focus than ever.

Previous shows had Spider-Man struggling to balance his job, obligations to Aunt May, school work, and crime-fighting. Ultimate Spider-Man eliminates his obligations to Aunt May by making her young and active, and almost outright ignores his school life unless it intersects with his superheroics. And yet, Peter Parker has two friends who aren't super heroes.

First, Harry Osborn. Obviously, not only is he involved with Venom, but his dad's the main villain of the show. So that particular dynamic is why Harry's around. But what about Mary Jane?

When they took away her status as Spider-Man's love interest, they realized that she needed some kind of characterization to warrant her inclusion. They made her a blatant Lois Lane copy, as I've detailed previously.

And in and of itself, there's nothing wrong with that. They can add new facets to her character. I would prefer facets that weren't outright copying a different comic character, but hey, a facet is a facet.

But that facet is currently the only facet she has. As I've also detailed previously, she's locked in REPORTER MODE 24/7. Ostensibly, they were trying to make her seem driven and motivated, but she's a flat character. She has one motivation.

And yet, every single time she actually has a chance to live her dream, she ruins it for herself. In "Exclusive," she released the footage of Spider-Man and the Hulk fighting crime onto the internet instead of using it to easily win that Daily Bugle internship. But because the plot said so, Jameson was still impressed with her enough to send her a new camera.

And in this episode, she ruins her chances yet again just because she didn't like what Jameson was saying about Spider-Man, unplugging the TV and ending the interview. And after this episode, he journalistic aspirations rarely come up ever again. In fact, the character barely shows up after this point.

Was this an abandoned character arc?

Were the writers unclear on the direction the character should be taken in?

Heck, did Man of Action even want to include MJ in the first place?

As I type this, the answer is still unknown.

And so, Mary Jane's short story arc has pretty much already reached its conclusion. Not with a bang, but with a "meh."

I wish she could have become a cub reporter. It would add a new dynamic to the JJJ angle if Mary Jane was the one working for him, rather than Peter Parker. But... that's life.

While Mary Jane might not have done much in this series, you can bet that things always worked out for her. Nothing Mary Jane does ever has consequences for her.

• Helps fight the Frightful Four in the premiere? They never seek revenge. (Apart from Trapster, but he seeks revenge on Spider-Man, rather than Mary Jane. And then he even flirts with her in a creepy way.) 
• Ruins her own chances of that Daily Bugle internship? JJJ sends a free gift.
• Ruins her chances again? Get a third chance next summer.

As a cherry on top of the sundae, she really has no humanizing flaws. None. Not a one. Except maybe that she's too self-sacrificing, too willing to put her dreams on hold for Spider-Man. But screw that noise. That's not a humanizing flaw, it's one that makes her even more "perfect."

She finds herself forced to choose between her dream job and being loyal to Spider-Man. Why can't that decision weigh on her? What if she took the job, only to later regret assisting the man slandering Spider-Man at every turn? With guilt weighing on her every time she sees him swinging through the air?

Or I guess she can just be one-dimensional. That works, too, I guess.

Animation
Average as ever. Backgrounds that look like they were put in the "cartoonize" filter...

I mean, come on. Letters or squiggles, show. Pick one.

...but with decent action.

Though I have to question this shot when it's revealed to the audience that JJJ was on a screen the entire time. MJ should have known that the whole time, but she treats the reveal to the audience like she just noticed it herself.

"Wait a minute. I'm beginning to suspect that Mr. Jameson might not have been here the whole time...."

Final Thoughts
It ends up succumbing to the same pitfalls that plague the rest of this show.

Unfunny cutaway gags, a misunderstanding of what makes J. Jonah Jameson a beloved character, a mishandling of Mary Jane....

But apart from those usual flaws, this episode actually does quite a few things right.

In the end, your enjoyment of this episode depends on whether or not you feel like the things done right outweigh the things done wrong. As for myself, I consider this to be a slightly above-average episode, despite its numerous flaws. One which, appropriately enough, sets the stage for an episode that dares to be different before being completely ignored.

I've already covered the next episode, which is also a pretty good outing. So the next episode I'll be covering is the one after that, where we'll see if they can bring us a third good episode in a row. See you then!