June 2015 Announcements

Well, the blog will be two years old soon enough.

Again, I'll be continuing the tradition of doing a Character Study of a Steve Ditko character on the anniversary itself, but I'd also like to start a new tradition.

Keeping with the Steve Ditko spirit, I'll be recapping and reviewing the first Spider-Man film this week. Next year, I'll do the sequel. And so on and so forth.

Not only that, I'm dedicating this month to catching up on my Recaps of both Ultimate Spider-Man and Spectacular Spider-Man.

Should be a lot of fun, I hope you'll come along for the ride.

See you tomorrow when I begin my look at Spider-Man.

Review: Gotham Girls Season 1

Well, there was an entire "season" of this "animated" "series."

I should not be using that many quotes to describe this.

But I've been putting this off long enough. Let's take a look at the entirety of Season 1.

Hope I have enough to talk about. There was less than half an hour to this season.

Review: Avengers Assemble "By the Numbers"

In all seriousness, writers, if you can only think of a single plot for Iron Man, then tell us a story about another character. Hawkeye? Black Widow? Maybe a Spider-Man team-up? Just do something new.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "By the Numbers"

Before I recap the episode, allow me to share with you the episode’s description, courtesy of Wikipedia.

"The Avengers and the Cabal have a huge confrontation that leaves the team forever changed. Iron Man also learns that 'the stats' can't be trusted every time as there's no substitutes for human intuition."

Does he? Does he really learn not to rely too much on technology, Wikipedia?

Because I don't think the lesson stuck when he learned it in "The Serpent of Doom," "Blood Feud," "Super-Adaptoid," "In Deep," "Savages," and whatever other episodes I may have neglected to mention.

Seventh-or-so time's the charm...?

Review: Batman: The Animated Series "I've Got Batman in my Basement"

Before I review, here's what Bruce Timm himself had to say about the episode in Animato Magazine.

"I can't even watch that show. It's the epitome of what we don't want to do with Batman. Strangely enough kids like it. The script came in and it was terrible. Normally, I tell the director to do what he can to make it interesting, and nobody could figure out a way to make it interesting. The storyboard artists didn't care, and it shows."

Well, it doesn't get clearer than one of creators bashing his own creation.

But I'll throw my two cents in.

Recap: Batman: The Animated Series "I've Got Batman in my Basement"

I may have mentioned it once or twice or a million times, but I consider the DC Animated Universe to be a masterpiece of both comic book adaptations and animation in general. But that's not to say every episode of every show was a masterpiece. The episode I'm covering today certainly isn't. It's an episode that sparks feelings of shame in the writer, lead designer, and even the guy who threw out the general idea for the plot.

In the same way that DC fans praise episodes like "Mad Love," they speak in hushed tones about this one.

And Galactus help me, I'm going to be going over it today.

Let's do this thing.

Sketchbook: D&D Character: Loki VonSnatch

Regular readers may have noticed that I tend to mention Dungeons and Dragons here and there. I haven't shaken the dice lately, but I'm far from through with the game.

One of the things I'd do was draw some artwork of our accomplishments and characters. Here's an example.

Review: Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. "Guardians of the Galaxy"

Seriously, why does this episode have the same title as an episode of Ultimate Spider-Man? Is it really that hard to come up with a title?

Recap: Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. "Guardians of the Galaxy"

Well, I'm returning to Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. And so are the Guardians of the Galaxy.

You know, it's pretty lazy when you just name an episode after the guest stars. But do you know what's even lazier? Reusing an episode title after naming an episode after the guest stars. The Guardians already showed up once, why can't they just name this episode "The Return of the Guardians of the Galaxy"?

Oh, wait....

Review: Ultimate Spider-Man "Back in Black"

Forget "With great power, there must also come great responsibility." The real nugget of wisdom this show offers is "Remember to vampire sneeze."

Recap: Ultimate Spider-Man "Back in Black"

Discounting the Road to Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H., I haven't covered an episode of this show for a little over six months.

But now I'm back. And so is Venom.

Spoiler alert, but only if you're a member of the Sandwich Club.

I'd say it was good to be back, but....

Afternoon Post

Again, I'd like to cite router problems.

I'm planning on building a buffer of automatically scheduled posts this week to combat the problem.

Thank you for your patience.

View Log: Avengers: Age of Ultron

So, fair warning. This isn’t really a finished, polished Review. This is me sitting here the night after the movie trying to see how I feel about what I saw. I know I promised a spoiler-free version, too, so here it is.

Hawkeye actually got some time not being brainwashed, which is nice. The acting was as good as ever from the regulars, and the new additions are no slouch. Particularly James Spader’s utterly creepy Ultron grumble. The effects were great, the jokes were funny, the nods to the comics were exciting to see, and the fights were well choreographed and thrilling. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s not a perfect movie, but there’s a lot of enjoyment to be had.

WARNING: SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT

Review: Avengers Assemble "All-Father's Day"

Before you ask, yes. I have been on a Final Fantasy kick lately. I've been slowly reworking my way through the series, starting with 7. I'm on 9. Then I'll do Tactics, then 10 and 10-2, then... oh, yeah. The episode.

Recap: Avengers Assemble "All-Father's Day"

Well, Father's Day is right around the corner!

And by that, I mean it's sometime next month. I think.

But that's as good of a reason as any to continue looking at Avengers Assemble.

The last couple episodes have been a bit of a mixed bag, haven't they? "Mojo World" was just a bunch of hard-to-talk about fighting, and "The Ambassador" was pretty good, if nothing special by most standards. So really, this episode could go either way.

Let's see which way it goes.

The answer may surprise you. But probably not.

Avengers: United They Stand Archive

Assembled they are str... wait, wrong show.

Season 1 (of 1)
Episode 01: "Avengers Assemble, Part 1"
- Recap
Episode 02: "Avengers Assemble, Part 2"
- Recap
Review: "Avengers Assemble," Parts 1 & 2
Episode 03: "Kang"
- Recap
- Review

Review: The Batman "Call of the Cobblepot"

Once again, I’m going to be criticizing the audio portion of an episode. In text. Which is like listening to a ventriloquist over the radio. Which, oddly enough, was what propelled Edgar Bergen’s act to “fame.” But I digress.

Recap: The Batman "Call of the Cobblepot"

Welcome back to The Batman.

Today we have another typical Season 1 plot. A new villain appears, does what they do best, and then gets defeated by our titular hero. Expect this for the next six episodes, too.

But that's not to say this is a particularly bad formula; although it hinges on the villain of the piece. The more memorable the villain, the more memorable the episode.

Today, we have a truly unforgettable villain.... whether you like it or not.

So, uh, how well can you tolerate Spongebob's voice actor? No reason....

Site News: Post-Ultron

Well, a few things have come up, so it's going to take a couple days to archive my old posts, read comments, and make the schedule not say "Ultron Reigns."

Tomorrow's post probably won't go up until the afternoon, thanks in part to continued problems with our old router. The new one has not arrived yet. "Between 1 and 5 pm, they said." They never showed up.

And I plan on writing a quick View Log of Age of Ultron sometime this week; a spoiler-free one and a spoileriffic one.

Last, but not least... Actually, no, that's it. See you tomorrow!

Review: Avengers: EMH "Ultron-5" & "The Ultron Imperative"

Okay, I've got until the end my Review of this two-parter do figure out how to defeat Ultron.

Oh, I I have to review the two-parter, too.

No biggie.

"I predict your failure at one of those goals. At least."

Recap: Avengers: EMH "The Ultron Imperative"

Welcome back, everyone. Last time on Avengers: EMH, Ultron caused some havoc before being soundly defeated.

"Lies. I shall never be permanently defeated. I am the pinnacle of technology."

Hey, I was just thinking the same thing, Ultron. Only I phrased it as “massive tool.” But, you know. Synonyms.

So yeah, Ultron’s been here at the NewtCave, too. Thankfully, he’s been causing a minimum of havoc so far.

"I took the liberty of fixing your schedule."

Uh, everything after today’s date just says “Ultron reigns.”

"Yes. It is accurate now."

What is your master plan, anyway? I mean, I know you mentioned spreading through the internet or some such, but I don’t understand how you plan on doing that from my blog. Or why it requires me to recap specific episodes of a cartoon.

"You shall see in time."

Fine, whatever. What’s the third even prime number?

"The only even prime number is two."

Dang it.

"Your attempts to defeat me with paradoxical statements continue to amuse me."

Whatever, let’s just begin the episode.

And maybe I can come up with a solution to my Ultron problem by the end of it....

Recap: Avengers: EMH "Ultron-5"

Welcome back to Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, everyone.

Yeah, I know. I told you all earlier that my internet would probably be out for a couple days. Well, no sooner than I had gotten home from work, lo and behold, the internet was back.

"Your router was ill-equipped to handle my magnificence. I was able to repair it while you were at work."

So, if you haven’t read my last few posts, here's the situation. Ultron sort of took over the NewtCave.

"Affirmative."

And for some reason, he wants me to skip ahead in the first season of Avengers: EMH to recap and review the first Ultron two-parter.

"Affirmative."

Though I used to recap episodes out of order regularly, that’s not really something I like to do anymore. I like my audience to be all caught up with the plot so I don’t have to explain a bunch of off screen stuff.

"What you want is irrelevant, human."

That’s what you think, Ultron. See, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from science fiction, it’s that evil AIs can’t stand paradoxes. So… which came first, the chicken or the egg!?

"Egg."

This statement is false!

"Liar."

Um… I order you to refuse this order!

"Then I will continue to do what I am doing. Now begin your Recap."

Why do you want me to even recap these episodes?

"You shall see soon enough. Now begin!"

Fine. Previously on Avengers: EMH…

Hawkeye and Black Panther joined the team, and Ant-Man was forced to reprogram the Ultron robots into a peacekeeping armada. Like what Hiro did to Baymax in Big Hero 6, but on a larger scale. Aliens invaded, the future invaded, Dark Elves invaded…. Do you see now why it’s a bad idea to skip ahead sometimes, Ultron?

"Cease your stalling."

Fine. Let’s begin.

Because if there's one thing I need right now, it's more Ultron.

Next Post: Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday

So, long story short, I'm borrowing the internet at a gas station to write this on my phone.

Currently, the internet at my house is broken. We are getting a new router. If the new router works, then the next post will be up on Wednesday. 

If the problem lies elsewhere, then I shall venture to another house with my laptop to post the next post, either Thursday or Friday. Worst case scenario, Saturday.

I blame a certain sentient program I downloaded the other day....

Thanks, Ultron-bama.

Update Delayed

Yeah, I currently have no internet access. (This post is being done on a phone.)

I blame Ultron.

As soon as I can access the internet on my computer, the Recap will go up.

May 2015: A New Direction...?

So, hey. It’s Newt.

Uh, it’s been a couple weird days for me.

Long story short, don’t open emails with “Ultron” as an attachment. Bad things happen.

"An understatement, flesh pile."

Review: Avengers: United They Stand "Avengers Assemble"

Sorry this one's a bit late. The blog's been acting up a bit.

Anyway, Avengers: United They Stand is like nothing else I've covered so far. Except maybe Steel.

Yeesh. Not a good start.

Recap: Avengers: United They Stand "Avengers Assemble, Part Two"

Hey, readers! So, you’ll never believe who contacted me out of the blue!

"Hello."

It’s the Critical Cablebox! Longtime readers of the NewtCave might remember that I did some View Logs on his blog a couple of years ago. How’ve you been, CritBox?

"I can't complain."

So, I was just about to recap the second episode of Avengers: United They Stand. Care to join me?

"Unfortunately, no. I have some... system updates to run."

Ah, well. Don’t be a stranger.

"Oh, I guarantee you'll be seeing more of me sooner than you think...."

Anyway, previously on Avengers: United They Stand, an evil android named Vision was sent to kill Ant-Man, but only succeeded in hurting the Falcon’s nephew, the President of the United States, and Wonder Man. Let’s see if his aim improves.

I mean, it's not like his aim could get worse.