Monday, September 1, 2014

Recap: Avengers: EMH (Micro-Episode 20) "The Big House"

The last one. The last Micro-Episode. For the last time, let us begin.

And I... had... the time of my life... and I never felt this way before....
My favorite Micro-Episode opens up with two robotic Ultron guards escorting Whirlwind to his containment cell in "The Big House." The place, not the episode. But also the episode. As he walks by, We see cameos from fellow villains Mandrill, Arnim Zola playing Pong, and Grey Gargoyle sipping tea in a Lay-Z-Boy.

In a fit of rage, Whirlwind tries to break free, but a chip on his helmet shuts his powers down. For all of .5 seconds, because the chip short circuits, and Whirlwind makes a break for it.

Ultron 1: "This behavior is unacceptable. Perhaps you would like to talk about this."

Whirlwind proceeds to destroy the polite robot guards, and futilely attempts to rouse a rabble, when Ant-Man's giant finger breaks through the ceiling and pushes him down. But Ant-Man's not a giant. The prison, and all the inmates, have been made tiny by Pym Particles.

What is this? A prison for ants? Oh. It is. Carry on.
Two more Ultrons arrive to restrain Whirlwind, and a regular-sized Nick Fury (he has white hair, so this is after Baron von Strucker escaped) thanks Pym for helping bring down Whirlwind, and jokes about offering Wasp a job as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Wasp: "I like it!"

It's Hank's horrified whisper of "Nooo..." that sells it.

"Can I squish some villains?"
"Wait your turn, Nick."
On the bridge of the helicarrier, which is where they now are, Hank asks for a status report on the Big House, but Fury assures him that everything's fine.

Hank: "I created it to help people whose genetics have been altered. They need cures, and criminals need rehabilitation, not punishment. I can't help but notice that not a single person has been discharged yet."

Fury reiterates that S.H.I.E.L.D. knows what they're doing, and offers them a job for real. Ant-Man says no.

Hank: "I'm not gonna make weapons for you. You've already got Tony Stark for that."

Not anymore.

Nick Fury: "What's it like, livin' in your own little science world? Pym? You guys played hero, took down Whirlwind... did you even bother to ask what he stole?" 
Wasp: "...I did."

Turns out, he was stealing a sonic disruptor for Ulysses Klaw. Fury politely tells the two to GTFO with the whole "rights of prisoners" crap, and the two leave. A nearby S.H.I.E.L.D. agent tells Fury that the power dampener malfunctioned because, as it turns out, Whirlwind's a mutant. Fury tells them to get the Mutant Response Division to come and get Whirlwind and wait. The MRD? They were the villains from Wolverine and the X-Men! Yep, this means that those two shows share a universe. As well as voice actors for Wolverine and Hulk.

Back in the Big House, Whirlwind tries in vain to break past the forcefield around his cell. What he's doing is pointless, and his neighbor tells him so. Said neighbor claims to have calculated 11 different ways to escape. But this Thinker (a mad one, at that) refuses to do so.

Mad Thinker: "This is one of four major supervillain prisons, each holding some of the most powerful criminals on the planet. Catastrophe is inevitable. All systems break down. We will be free. And soon."

As he says this, a heavily restrained prisoner in an unknown location opens his glowing eyes.

What an utterly awesome way to end these Micro-Episodes. Glad we left on such a high note.

Excelsior!

1 comment:

  1. How dare Hank Pym have standards, am I right? You can't have an opinion in front of Nick Fury! Because... because.

    Seriously, why is it that Fury ping-pongs between "awesome old Chuck Norris army guy" and "heartless Lawful Neutral manipulator" in every other story he's in?

    - That One Anon

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