Monday, August 4, 2014

Recap: Avengers: EMH (Micro-Episode 03) "The Man in the Ant Hill"

And so, here we are. This is the homestretch of Micro-Episodes. As such, I'm going to have to stretch them out to make them last. And yet, they're like popcorn. You can't stop at just one. I guess this will be my struggle for the rest of this month.

Our Micro-Episode opens up in Africa.

?: "So who is this guy?"

I don't know, who are you, strange voiceover?

??: "Some egghead scientist, doin' some kind of experiments or something in the jungle. He's a nobody." 
?: "Then why are we here?" 
??: "Because the boss wants what this guy's got."

You'd think this goon for hire would ask these questions before he got to Africa.

??: "And what he's got is the property of S.H.I.E.L.D."

Oh, this guy must have Spider-Man with him. (Ba-dum-tssh!)

These thugs stake out what appears to be a high-tech igloo with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents guarding it. After downing all the guards with tranquilizer darts, they get ready to break inside, where the "egghead" talks to his tape recorder.

Dr. Pym: "Field Journal 011962-27..."

Wait a minute, Henry Pym first appeared on January (01), 1967 in Tales to Astonish #27.

Thought you could hide that Easter egg from me, show? Gotta be sneakier than that!
 Dr. Pym: "...Doctor Henry Pym recording."

He exposits that S.H.I.E.L.D. found some Vibranium, a rare metal, outside the isolationist nation of Wakanda. Pym is the first outsider to work with Vibranium, and they want him to make sure that it's safe to work with.

But before he can elaborate on the metal's abilities of absorbing vibration, the ruffians from outside blow up his door.

Dr. Pym: "You know, that door didn't have a lock on it. You could've just opened it." 
???: "Dr. Pym, I presume?"

Oh, hello Mark Hamill. It's not really a superhero cartoon until you show up.
???: "My name is Ulysses Klaw. I'd like to have a word with you about the Vibranium sample you're working with." 
Dr. Pym: "You should make an appointment, then. Contact Janet VanDyne and we'll have lunch."

Your girlfriend is not a secretary, Hank. Didn't you take Boyfriending 101?

Klaw: "You misunderstand. I want all your research."

He grabs the sample as Pym calmly tries to talking out of it by espousing the many technological advancements that this sample could give humanity, but Klaw is too evil to listen. He has his men aim their guns at the good doctor, who laments that these grunts didn't want to talk things over. He activates his belt, which sends glowing, yellow bubbles up the black part of his uniform. The goons open fire, but merely hit his lab coat, floating in the air.

Before the mooks can leave, one of them gets taken out by an invisible punch. Then another one. The second time, we see that a tiny, helmeted Dr. Pym is jumping up and hitting them in the face. The others start firing wildly, but Klaw just sticks the Vibranium inside a SCIENCE gun, activating it. How is it that he made a weapon that would only work if he put a mystery element inside it? If no one but Pym knew the exact properties of Vibranium.... doesn't matter.

Klaw fires his vibratoring gun, and the tiny Pym barely manages to work up the strength to walk over and hit a button on the desk. Ignoring the yellow flash, Klaw and his goons escape outside, only to find that they've been shrunk, along with the techno-igloo. Two men get taken away (and presumably eaten) by ants, and three enormous (relatively speaking) ants surround Klaw. Henry Pym, wearing his ant-mind control helmet, descends from above on a flying ant.

Ant-Man: "Ready to talk now, Klaw?"

But he's not, preferring to fire his gun some more. The two fight, and Henry Pym wins by punching Klaw while growing. People ask me why Ant-Man should be taken seriously. That's why. He can hit you... while making more of himself to hit you with.

"It's okay; I'm technically a pacifist."
Klaw returns to normal size as well, drops his weapon, and runs. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents arrive on the scene along with Janet van Dyne, aka the Wasp. She flies in, and finds him doing some science on the Vibranium.

Dr. Pym: "There's a couple mercenaries on the beach, I shrank them down, can you make sure the ants don't eat them? Thanks."

Uh... judging by the crunching sounds those ants were making....

"No, they already got eaten."
"Oh, well. Hey, look! I think this metal is allochthonous!"
 To be continued! Actually, no, but there's a couple more Ant-Man Micro-Episodes and a Black Panther one.

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