Friday, July 31, 2015

Recap/Review: Marvel One-Shot "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer"

Marvel's next One-Shot once again takes us into the events surrounding Thor. This was the first one they budgeted for, and the reason that "The Consultant" was nothing more than two people talking separated by existing footage.

Let's see what they spent most of that money on!

Spoiler alert: They spent it on slow-mo effects.

Monday, July 27, 2015

Review: Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. "Future Shock"

Why does this show always have to revert to toilet humor?

Literal toilet humor. Minus the humor.
Is toilet humor just their placeholder for actual jokes? I mean, I’m not a prude. But Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. is swimming in more gross-out humor than Captain Underpants.

Recap: Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. "Future Shock"

Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. is no more.

This is the first episode I've covered since the show was given the axe to make room for a Guardians of the Galaxy cartoon. While the prospect of no more episodes is good cause to celebrate with the good champagne, the fact that I still have to cover the rest of Season 2 seems like good cause to drown my sorrows in whiskey. Either way, I believe I might need to be inebriated to endure the next half-hour. Let's get this over with.

Alcohol, I still drink to your health.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

View Log: Ant-Man

Iron Man was not popular in 2007. Iron Man changed that.

The Guardians of the Galaxy were not popular in 2013. Guardians of the Galaxy changed that.

Ant-Man was not popular in 2014. And I think that’s about to change.

Spoiler-Free Version
This movie is a lot of things. It’s funny. It’s an action romp. It’s a heist movie. It’s a character study. It’s a stepping stone. There’s not only a lot to like about this movie, but there’s a lot to genuinely love about it.

Paul Rudd is a charismatic leading man, Michael Douglas is a fantastic mentor figure, Evangeline Lilly is a decent leading lady, the villain is suitably threatening, and the ensemble cast is comedy gold.

Thumbs up all around.
As for specifics….

Yeah, spoiler alert for all that follows.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Recap/Review: Gotham Girls "Hold That Tiger"

Well, it happened.

I think I've said this already, but it bears repeating. For the longest time, Wikipedia's page on Gotham Girls still linked to Warner Bros.' Flash files for the episodes on their website, despite the Gotham Girls page being taken down long ago.

But it seems as though somebody going through the files at Warner Bros. realized that they still had these things online and finally took the files down. Luckily, the entire series was released legally on the Birds of Prey DVD set. Plus, I did a few Recaps in advance before they took the episodes off their own site.

So let's gets started on Season 2 of Gotham Girls, heads held high in spite of the fact that these Recaps may very well be brought to a premature end.

Well, unless I ever feel like shilling out for the Birds of Prey DVD set.

Yeah, because that's something I'm eager to buy.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Review: Avengers: United They Stand "Kang"

Going to be honest with you all, this episode didn't leave much of an impression on me. Which is the biggest crime for a series entirely based on being X-TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM.

Actually, it's pretty ironic that I'm struggling to find things to say about the series that cured my burnout last April.

But in summary?

I expected better from you, Avengers: UTS. Or worse.

Recap: Avengers: United They Stand "Kang"

Well, this is the first Avengers: UTS episode I've covered since that whole rigamarole with Ultron. Now the only threat the NewtCave is Ant-Man annoying me to death with his whining about how he was supposed to be in The Avengers.

"I was, you know."
Yeah, yeah, shut up.

And since I've learned my lesson regarding downloading strange files, it's time to cover the third episode of this short-lived, Ant-Man-led series. Especially since Ant-Man has hit theatres.

"Yeah, everything's coming up Ant-Man."
Congratulations, shorty. Now let's begin.

I will do my best to refrain from mentioning the alien from The Simpsons.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Sketchbook: D&D Character: Sir Charles

So, in any Dungeons and Dragons game, there's a very important unspoken deal between the players and the Dungeon Master.

Don't be unreasonable.

The DM won't whip out the most powerful monster in the manual to fight some level 1 Bards, and the players won't hijack the plot.

"A quest to find lost treasure? Nah, I'll just be here with these busty wenches. Then I'll burn the tavern down."

Although both sides tend to alter the deal.

DM's might force players to go in the direction that makes the plot continue, and the players might have a bit of fun saying "no" to the super awesome quest in favor of running around catching chickens.

Speaking of chickens....

Friday, July 17, 2015

Review: Fantastic Four: WGH "World's Tiniest Heroes"

Well, at the very least, I can't accuse this episode of having any false advertizing.

When you're smaller than Ant-Man, there's probably none smaller.

Recap: Fantastic Four: WGH "World's Tiniest Heroes"

You know, I look at that title, and all I want to do is read the latest JL8.

Here's a link. Go nuts.
But I'm here to take a look at a certain superhero's cameo in a certain Marvel show because of a certain movie coming out soon.

Obviously, I'm referring to Squirrel Girl.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Review: Avengers Assemble "One Little Thing"

You know, this episode got me thinking. Why is it that, in fiction, shrinking plots are always seen as fodder for comedy? Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, every other Magic School Bus episode, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Family Guy, Kids Next Door, etc.   It's actually a horrifying prospect if you spend any time thinking about it. Pym had an entire chilling monologue with horrifying visuals in Earth's Mightiest Heroes about the inherent dangers.

Including boredom.
What do we have here? "Comedy" mixed with shrinking's inherent horror. They mix about as well as peanut butter and dirt.


Recap: Avengers Assemble "One Little Thing"

It was only a matter of time. “One Little Thing” is often called the worst episode of Avengers Assemble. Yet somebody left a comment on the last episode I covered saying that this was their favorite episode of Avengers Assemble.

And you know what? I can’t tell that person they’re wrong. Whoever that person is, they have their reasons for liking this episode. And that’s fine. I can’t tell them to dislike this episode any more than they can tell me to like it.

And, as ever, feel free to state your own opinion on the episode in the comments, everybody.
Having said that, from a storytelling perspective, this episode was just poorly constructed. If you like this episode in spite of, or perhaps even because of the story, more power to you.

But I’m not going to lie to you. I hate this episode. And I can back up my thesis.

Believe you me.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Review: "Captain America: The First Avenger"

After promising to highlight the MCU's biggest problem during the Recap, I feel like a click bait site.

You know, like...

Top Seven Problems with the Marvel Films! (You won't BELIEVE number three!)

But alas, there's a problem that keeps popping up. Iron Man 2, Captain America, Age of Ultron.... It needs to be addressed.

First of all: Not enough Agent Carter.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Recap: "Captain America: The First Avenger" Part 3: Star-Crossed Lovers

Just for the record, "star-crossed" means doomed. Romeo and Juliet are doomed lovers. They aren't some great tragedy of true love, they are not meant to be together. It was a relationship that lasted three days between a 13-year old and a 17-year-old. Six people died because of it.

Sorry about the tangent; people hyping up Romeo and Juliet as a romantic story is one of my biggest pet peeves, speaking as somebody with degrees in Theatre and English.

Anyway, yeah. Doomed lovers. Spoiler alert.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Recap: "Captain America: The First Avenger" Part 2: Earning Stripes

When last we left off, Elrond just sent Thorin Oakenshield to kill that smug scientist from The Core.

Seriously, with Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, and Hugo Weaving, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is starting to look like a Tolkien reunion.

And I'm okay with that.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Recap: "Captain America: The First Avenger" Part 1: The American Dream

So let's ignore the fact that "The First Avenger" would logically be the first guy Nick Fury recruited. You know, Iron Man. Or the fact that you could even say the first guy with a movie would be the First Avenger. So... still Iron Man.

Looks like Cap's got some expectations to live up to with such a claim in the very title.

Hopefully, the red and the white and the blue will come through.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Recap: "Captain America: The First Avenger" Intro

Another Fourth of July, come and gone.

For most of the world, it was yet another Saturday, spent as most Saturdays are. But for those of us in America, we took the liberty of co-opting some of Ireland’s national stereotypes and spent the day mostly drunk while setting off explosions.

One guy did this. I took pictures of him doing it.
As I waded through the crowd at my hometown’s 4th of July bash, there were a few things I noticed. The first thing I noticed was the utter abundance of southern accents. This struck me as odd because I live in Michigan. But the second thing I noticed was the patriotism. Generally speaking, Americans don’t usually go around in muscle shirts chanting “USA! USA!”

Although it tends to happen quite a bit on the 4th of July.
There’s a very specific sort of fervent patriotism that Americans get on this one day every year. It’s the sort of patriotism that annoys the crap out of the rest of the world.

Am I saying that patriotism is bad? No.

But if you aren’t an American, then it’s a little hard to get excited about America. Like knowing a die-hard sports fan when you can’t tell a hockey puck from a basketball. Which brings me to the big problem with a movie about Captain America.

How do you get the rest of the world excited to see it?

Million-dollar question, there.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

July, 2015 Announcements

Whew.

It's been a busy month at the NewtCave. And it's been pretty busy at home, too. And also at work. Busy all around, basically. Hopefully, I've got things back on track. And just in time for Ant-Man hype to be on everybody's minds!

Though I'm still a bit worried by the lack of merchandizing for Ant-Man.
To get into the spirit of things, I'll be looking at a few Ant-Man related episodes, as well as something involving DC's answer to Ant-Man. You'll see. After that, the month will be rounded out with a return to Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. as well as Avengers Assemble.

Sometime this month, I'll probably post a View Log of Ant-Man.


"And how much you love it, right?"
Well... to tell you the truth, I'm not as confident as I once was in the film. The advertizing seems unsure of how to market it, and there are barely any toys for it on the shelves, which signals Marvel's lack of confidence to me.

"...."
Plus, while I was watching Doctor Who on Disney XD, there was this weird Public Service Announcemt thing that warned parents that Ant-Man might be too intense for younger viewers, making me worry about how dark and gritty they tried to make it....

"Right, well..."
Plus there were all those problems with directing it, and...

"Yeah, we get it."
Oh. Sorry.

"God, and you tell me to shut up?"
Anyway, before all that, the ongoing look at the Marvel Cinematic Universe continues this week with Captain America: The First Avenger.

See you then!

Friday, July 3, 2015

Gravity Falls Archive

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Season 1
Episode 01: "Tourist Trapped"
- Recap
- Review
Episode 02: "The Legend of the Gobblewonker"
- Recap
- Review
Episode 03: "Headhunters"
- Recap
- Review 
Episode 04: "The Hand that Rocks the Mabel"
- Recap
- Review
Episode 05: "The Inconveniencing"
- Recap
- Review
Episode 06: "Dipper vs. Manliness"
- Recap
- Review 
Episode 07: "Double Dipper"
- Recap
- Review
Episode 08: "Irrational Treasure"
- Recap
- Review
Episode 09: "The Time Traveler's Pig"
- Recap
- Review
Episode 10: "Fight Fighters"
- Recap
- Review

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Review: Gravity Falls "The Legend of the Gobblewonker"

As much as I love Dipper and Mabel, they were totally out of their element this episode. Who ya gonna call?

Jeremy Wade, of course.

Recap: Gravity Falls "The Legend of the Gobblewonker"

Gravity Falls continues with Dipper and Mabel's first official monster hunt! Looks like we're going to have another mystery on our hands, gang!

Zoinks!